Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Society & CultureReligion & Spirituality · 1 decade ago

LDS:Just how much sway does the Bishop's wife have?

I obtained from the Temple Matron some guidelines about sewing a Temple dress modified for my handicap, as per advice I recieved here. Not wanting to make a mistake, I sewed the entire pattern in muslin first, and it was on my dress Jenny when the Bishop's wife came over.

Well, not only does she say it is all wrong,(the back being shortened to accommodate pressure sores that form from sitting on layers of material)she told me to redo it or she will be forced to bring it up with the Bishop. I was under the impression that the RS president is the one with authority to speak to the Bishop on behalf of Sisters and that the Bishop's wife is ,well, a man's wife. Am I right or wrong?

Anyway, I do have the pattern I was directed to by the Matron and am fully prepared to defend my pattern to the Bishop- but do I have to?

Update:

@Tell me about it I don't call on them they call on me I guess bevause they presume that I am a viable service "target" being impaired and living for now in a public building nothing I can do about it I can not even close my door without special permission from staff

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    It all depends upon the Bishop. If he is following the advice of the brethren, then nothing will come of it, especially if he knows you are following the Temple matron's advice.

    Here's the problem: there have been recent communications from the brethren about people who are modifying the authorized pattern of the garment to fit with the clothing they want to wear. Such is not to be done.

    Temple dresses and the garment are two different things. It is entirely possible that she is unaware that the instructions apply only to the garment, not to temple dresses.

    Regardless, she has no authority on the matter, since she is not the Relief Society president.

    Some people take on authority when they have none. This sounds like the case of this particular sister. If the Bishop asks you about it, say nothing but show him the guidelines you received from the Temple.

    If he questions those guidelines, then kindly refer him to the Temple Matron.

    You don't need to argue or defend your position.

    If he becomes belligerent over the matter hand him a slip of paper with D&C 121:34-40 on it and walk away. Take it back to the temple matron and ask them what you should do. Let them and the Bishop work it out.

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  • Elsie
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    I agree that the bishop's wife has no authority. I think in a case like this what the temple matron says takes precedence over what anyone else says.

    If you followed the pattern the temple matron provided that should be enough to satisfy everyone. If that isn't enough, bring the muslin dress to the temple have the matron inspect and approve it before you take the plunge and make the real dress.

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  • 1 decade ago

    It sounds to me like her comments and criticism were uncalled for, unless she is the temple matron. Even if she was the RS Pres. that calling has nothing to do with temple attendance (as far as I know, having never been in RS) Of course, any sister could have similar thoughts about your dress and bring it up with the bishop. The fact that it was his wife makes the conversation more likely, but hopefully it wouldn't affect his judgment.

    Sometimes we can get caught up in how things are always done in the church and miss out on the why things are done. A lot of what we do during ordinances isn't set by scripture but by policy or tradition. I know of no revelation that says men must wear long sleeves during the endowment session, but I would need to don a 'loaner' if I showed up in short-sleeves. If there was a medical condition that prevented me from wearing long sleeves and I worked something out with the temple authorities, then no one else should be concerned.

    Just my take on it.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Not only does the Bishop's wife not have stewardship in this situation- but neither does the Bishop. The Bishop is a common judge in Israel and can judge whether or not you are worthy to enter the temple. He can not supersede what the Temple Matron has told you concerning this.

    In short- Temple Matron has the stewardship, the Bishop's wife does not. If you got the pattern from her, don't worry about anything else.

    My guess is the Bishop's wife didn't understand exactly what was going on.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Rest easy. were I in your shoes, I would try to assume the wife is not understanding your situation and very likely is not aware that modifications are entirely proper and possible and that you have gone about doing these modifications thru the proper channels of authority. The modifications are based on your medical needs and with guidance from either the special garmet division or the Temple Matron and thru your RS pres. If the bishop asks - just let him know it is what was recommended by the Matron. It should end there - if not - have the Bishop get in tought with Distribution in SLC to determine the proper procedure [whereupon he will discover you have followed them and drop it].

    best wishes and hugs

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  • Kerry
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Unless a bishop's wife has a calling in leadership, ie RS President as you say, she does not have authority over you. It is the priesthood presides at any rate. Personally, I would not be too concerned. You efforts seemed justified and you were following the advice of someone who would know, ie the matron.

    If the bishop wants to talk to you about this, you should; he might have information that could be helpful. I do not see your position as one being out of compliance of anything, if you are indeed following the advice of the matron.

    Source(s): Lifelong Mormon
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  • rac
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    You are right and the bishop's wife is wrong. She is out of line to criticize what you are doing when the temple matron was the one who gave you that advice. Yes, the Relief Society President is the local person who should be helping you with this. I have known other meddlesome bishop's wives that have caused dischord in the ward because of their taking advantage of their supposed connection with the bishop. It is a good wife that knows not to interfere with things that are not in their realm of responsibility. Your case is one of them. I would talk to your R.S. Pres. first and then have her bring up the issue with the bishop. If you go to him directly, it will look like you are making a personal attack on his wife and put him in an uncomfortable position.

    Best wishes.

    Source(s): LDS
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  • Why is it her beewax what your dress look's like and why would she feel she has to tattle to the bishop about your dress anyway? I didn't think it was in a bishop's jurisdiction to worry about dresses. Dang.

    ps--the coolest temple dress I ever saw was a white-on-white Hawaiian mu-mu. I didn't think it matters terribly as long as the dress was pure white, reaches your throat, wrists, and feet, and makes you feel pretty--and if the temple matron said your pattern was appropriate, you go with that. She's the final word here.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Honestly I dont see what right either of them have to comment on it, as long as its ok with the temple pres/matron. And they will not let you do a session if its NOT ok. But it really has nothing to do with the bishop, and esp nothing to do with his wife.

    You seem to have a beef with them often. Why do you spend some much time with them??

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  • Gideon
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    Neither the bishop nor his wife have any say in the matter. Follow whatever direction you have received from the Temple.

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