What should you make sure to have before you have a baby?

Im just curious at this point im looking to have my first baby soon. Im 21 years old and im in college at the moment.I also have an amazing bf that i have a promise ring and engagement ring from so i know he isnt going anywhere (not because of the rings just because i know him <3 lol) I feel im ready and im ready to share my love with a wonderful little baby i can call my own and something me and him can share our love with also. he feels hes ready too a little he says but he says hes not %100 sure just yet ...Im just wondering what should I make sure I have before i decide this is the right time to have a baby. =) And no i dont have a job just yet im looking for one right now. =)

5 Answers

  • cLaU
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I think that you both should enjoy yourselves first. Once a baby comes it's all about the baby, not you or your husband. My husband and I were married 2 yrs before me getting pregnant, and we travelled, partied, etc. We had no stress and we enjoyed ourselves.

    We love our daughter to death, but once you have a baby it's a big responsibility and since you haven't married him, I think you might want to enjoy him first. Youre only 21 yrs old and it's best that you finish college first as well.

    ADD: And I'm not saying you both can't enjoy yourselves anymore, but now you can't just go out when it's cold, a baby gets sick and might ruin your plans, etc etc. If you first do things together that you've always wanted, then you will be ready for the next step which is a baby.

  • Beth
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    1. Wedding ring on your finger and marriage certificate in hand.

    2. Husband with a good job, talk about finances to make sure you can support a child. Make sure you have health insurance with maternity coverage, and it's active (there is often a waiting period of 6 months or 1 year before it takes effect). Birth can be pretty expensive without that, never mind all the regular checkups and shots for a new baby.

    3. Finish your college degree. It is possible to finish after having a baby, but it's much harder and will likely take longer. If you get that out of the way first, it'll make things easier and you'll be able to enjoy your child more.

    4. Talk through various aspects of parenting to make sure you are in agreement, such as: Will you stay home with the baby or go back to work? If you go back to work, who will take care of the baby while you are working - daddy, other family, daycare, nanny? Once you find a job, if you plan to go back to work after having a baby you should find out what the maternity leave policy is - in some cases you aren't entitled to maternity leave benefits until you've been working there for a certain period of time. Do you plan to breastfeed (I hope so, but having your partner's support makes it a lot easier)? How will you approach discipline when the baby turns into a toddler with a mind of his/her own - spanking, time outs, something else? When the baby wakes up at night, who will get up - always you, always him, or take turns? Making sure you are on the same page with stuff like this now will make things a LOT easier in the long run. Actually, you might want do this before the wedding, so that if you cannot come to an agreement you still have time to break it off.

  • 1 decade ago

    It's not a choice to be made based on marriage. Marriage, although very special, is simply a piece of paper stating you are bound together. Guess what, papers can be burned, and divorces occur at nearly 50% of all marriages in the U.S. so that doesn't say much about marriage or the fact that if you are married you are going to be together forever. Babies on the other hand are much more of a commitment than marriage because no matter what, babies are for life! You do need a job because you need money to provide for the child such as diapers, wipes, food, clothing, shelter, etc. You also need a car so you can take the baby to appointments and such. You need a home/apartment so that your baby has a place to sleep and stay warm. And you need to have a stable support system such as your family, his family, and most importantly him:)

  • 1 decade ago

    First, you need to get a job. It is going to be a million times harder to find work with a baby to worry about, and a million times more urgent to get one, once you have a child to provide for. Also, wait until you graduate. It will be very hard to go to school and raise a child.

    Second, I think you need to wait a few years. You AND your boyfriend need to COMPLETELY sure, because babies are a big responsibility. You are still pretty young, and there is plenty of time to have kids. Enjoy life baby less for a while.

    Third, you may want to get married, but if that's not what you want, than you don't have to.

    Having a baby is amazing gift, but a hard one too! Good luck :)

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • 1 decade ago

    id make sure that you and your boyfriend both have steady jobs, your own place to live, and plenty of extra money. babies are expensive (believe me i know, just had one four months ago haha). i'd also suggest waiting until youre married because truth is once you get married, even if you've been together for years, your relationship dynamics change. things are different and you should take time to get use to how things are being changed.

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.