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Please answer, I need as much support as possible.. ?
Hi, I'm Bella and I'm 24 years old. I just broke up with my bf of a year because he is not around very much at all. Altho I love him he makes me want to stab myself because he is absent so much of the time. He is angry at me but I can't stand living this way. Actually I can't stand living. I'm falling behind in school which I spent so much money on. Waste. My ex owes me 2 grand that I will probably never see. Stress. My mom is the only person I have left and she is so unstable I can't even lean on her. I have no one. I have a crap job and no confidence. I am anxious and so insecure. Everyday is a stuggle and I have felt like this for years. It is getting worse and worse. I have some friends but they are not that great to me. I am in counselling also. What am I to do? I'm soo unhappy. I should also mention that I have worked as a webcam model so with a sexual history such as that it will be hard to find a man that accepts me so please don't tell me there are plenty of fish in the sea.
- Margaret KLv 61 decade agoFavorite Answer
With regard to the ex- and the 2,000, it is time to move on. Chalk it down to a lesson learned. Never let go of money with the expectation of seeing it again. It's cheap at half the price, if it teaches you something about hanging on to your money.
Now, before you introduce more stress (men) into your life, you need to spend some time devoted to yourself, to build yourself a strong foundation, so you don't feel like the ground is about to fall out from under you.
It all starts with your health. Think of how you feel when you are tired or hungry. Words like weepy and cranky come to mind. So, pay close attention to what you eat. Eat whole foods, like cooking up fresh meat, and eat lots of veggies. Avoid caffeine, alcohol and sugar substitutes. They affect sleep and blood sugar levels and destabilize mood. Take a vitamin supplement, and take a large dose of vitamin D along with some fish oil caps (for Omega 3's), every day. Avoid alcohol. It causes depression. Stay on a good sleep schedule. Leave plenty of time for a good night's sleep. Avoid naps. Get plenty of exercise. 20 minutes of brisk exercise everyday will enhance your moods. See a dentist and a doctor and get a good checkup.
Monitor your "self talk" and interrupt negative self talk with positive messages. Do some googling on anxiety and depression, and learn about all the everyday things you can do to stablize and life your mood, like taking omega 3's or 5HTP or exercise. Spend some time with a pet. If you don't have a pet, maybe you could find one. I don't recomend a small, yappy dog or a litter box. Try a medium size dog (they are more obedient and less trouble) or a cat WITH a cat flap.
Now, start working on building your emotional support network. Strengthen your friendships with people who seem to give you good advice, that you feel comfortable with, who really seem to care about you. Ask them how they are doing. Do something nice for them, spontaneously. Make time for them, and always keep your commitments to them.
Shake up your routine, so you encounter new people. Check your city's community college or recreation center. Find a fun inexpensive class that you would enjoy, join an interest group or a club. Get out of your rut. Join "Toastmasters" to build confidence.
Sometimes a crap job isn't so miserable, if you can enhance the rest of your life. Meanwhile, start some long-term planning. Get new training or credentials to help your job search If you go back to a community college night classes, you might also meet people with common interests.
Work on your budget. Consider where you can move to a cheaper place to live, cancel monthly services such as using a prepaid phone instead of a smart phone. Happiness is having your health and a little money in your pocket. All those gadgets don't bring happiness if you are too worried about paying the bills.
Use self-imagery. Every day, imagine yourself exercising, or enrolling in school. Athletes use this for training. If you need a boost, get some hypnosis. I've used it, and it makes you feel WONDERUL.
Don't try to do everything at once. Like a foundation, concrete needs time to cure. Start with the physical and give yourself time to settle into new habits, then try the next step.
Don't worry about finding a man. As you work through this, all your relationships will start working better, and the men will find you!
Best Wishes and Good Luck!!
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Your counsellor isn't helping you. You probably don't have one that you feel you can relate to. Its very common. People have a tendency to think that the first counsellor they are handed is the one they have to stay with. NO. If you get a counsellor and after a while you are no better, then you should change your counsellor. And keep changing them until you find one who can hear you and one whom you can hear as well. This is very important. Also, it sometimes helps when you are in such a desperate way to get out of yourself and a good way to do this is to help others somehow. Actually answering peoples questions on here is a good way as there are many on here from people who are just desperately frustrated with their lives. I think you just need to get it out, need someone to listen to you.
- 1 decade ago
Not living is never the answer. What I do when I feel down is watch some funny videos.
I know its not the best commercial for your situation, but this is a very funny commercial:
Its a geico commercial with R LEE ERMY, a former Marines Drill Sergeant.
"MAYBE we can chug on over to MAMBEEPAMBY land where MAYBE we can find some SELF CONFIDENCE for you, ya JACKWAGON.... Tissue? ... CRYBABY."
- 1 decade ago
Sit yourself down on and make something out of your life.
You're falling behind in school? THEN LEARN!
Your ex owes you money? Go earn some money yourself!
Your job is crap? Stop complaining and work for your money!
- 1 decade ago
Who says you need a man to be happy??
Just be indepent for a while and see how that works.
I'll be here for you if you need anyone to talk to.Source(s): Been treated like shit for many years.