Pleasssseeeee help me with my paragraph!!!!! due tomorrow!!!!!?

If you could please rate 1 to 10, edit and spice it up a notch thx!!!!

The rural and archaic city of Phuket is located on the edge of the southeast coast of Phuket Island, Thailand. It is situated within a torrid, tropical forest and a captivating outline of the precipes, where a heavenly Buddha made of complete gold stands proudly beyond the mountains and the city. The ethnic, tranquil village, however, has a more serene enhancement than the landscape itself. It disperses into elegant, miniature clusters of sepian huts, scarcely decorated with the teachings of the Buddha. Strips of pasty, mossy stone pathways weave through every intersection of the scattered buildings. Hospitable people socialize endlessly while looking at alluring art, usually pertaining to spirits of the Thai gods. Near the shores at dusk, the whispers of the ocean are deafened by the agitated joy of the people frolicing to soothing Thai music. In the morning, all seems peaceful as the moist breeze filters the voices of surrounding sounds, and the ocean comes back to a translucent, shappire-coloured ring of water. The sizzling, piquant aroma can be sensed a kilometer away, often alerting people that an elaborate meal of mixed curry and a variety of soups are being served. Close to the village are the enduring, pungent smells of fresh mud from the moist forests and the quaint land. The temperature of the afternoon is humid enough to make one sweat constantly, but in the evening there is a raging tide that conveys the draft of an everlasting spa. Ductile, but uncomforting mud slowly encloses one's feet while in the vast range of the rice fields. The strong taste of tobacco smoke from the hearth creeps in one's mouth and tingles the tastebuds. People greet and wave as they pass by each other leisurely. Chefs prepare assorted dished including the flamboyant curry, and a drink of remedial, warm tea. As it boils, the vapor hastily bounces on the kettle until the calm breeze from the north drives it away into the radiant reflections of the tide. The continuous wade of the reticent barge produces a calm, quiet wave that carefully makes its way to the sandy shores of the desolate beach. With the harmonious offerings of the ancient town, it is almost impossible not to come for a tour.

1 Answer

Relevance
  • Ua
    Lv 5
    9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    9/10. I would just recomend a couple of minor alterations, as I indicated in parentheses.

    The rural [It's oxymoronic to say "rural" city. Perhaps "isolated".] and archaic city of Phuket is located on the edge of the southeast coast of Phuket Island, Thailand. It is situated within a torrid, tropical forest and a captivating outline of the precipes, where a heavenly Buddha made of complete gold stands proudly beyond the mountains and the city. The ethnic, tranquil village, however, has a more serene enhancement than the landscape itself. It disperses into elegant, miniature clusters of sepian [Is there such a word as "sepian"?] huts, scarcely decorated [Maybe say "inscribed" instead of "decorated".] with the teachings of the Buddha. Strips of pasty, mossy, stone pathways weave through every intersection [between?] the scattered buildings. Hospitable people socialize endlessly while looking at alluring art, usually pertaining to spirits of the Thai gods. Near the shores at dusk, the whispers of the ocean are deafened by the agitated joy of the people frolicking to soothing Thai music. In the morning, all seems peaceful as the moist breeze filters the voices of surrounding sounds, and the ocean comes back to a translucent, shappire-coloured ring of water. The sizzling [I think "sizzling" is more appropriate in describing sound, not aroma.], piquant aroma can be sensed a kilometer away, often alerting people that an elaborate meal of mixed curry and a variety of soups are being served. Close to the village are the enduring, pungent smells of fresh mud from the moist [You've already used "moist". It seems repetitive.] forests and the quaint land. The temperature [say "climate", not "temperature". "Temperature" can't be "humid".] of the afternoon is humid enough to make one sweat constantly, but in the evening there is a raging tide that conveys the draft of an everlasting spa. Ductile ["Ductile" relates to metals and other things that can be hammered into different shapes. Maybe "Impressionable"?], but uncomforting mud slowly encloses one's feet while in the vast range [Are you sure "range" is the best word?] of the rice fields. The strong taste of tobacco smoke from the hearth creeps in one's mouth and tingles the tastebuds. People greet and wave as they pass by each other leisurely. Chefs prepare assorted dished [You mean "dishes," right?] including the flamboyant curry, and a drink of remedial, warm tea. As it boils, the vapor hastily bounces on the kettle until the calm breeze from the north drives it away into the radiant reflections of the tide. The continuous wade of the reticent barge produces a calm, quiet wave that carefully makes its way to the sandy shores of the desolate beach. With the harmonious offerings of the ancient town, it is almost impossible not to come for a tour.

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.