help in english editing (grammar/structure) please! less than 500 words; the more response the better!!!!?

There has been greater awareness in school heath since the last decade. It is recognized that healthy children learn better and are equipped to achieving more in their life. However, to accomplish this phenomenal goal it encompasses numerous factors such as social and physical support, the involvement of family and community, school health services and much more to name. When these factors are harmonized, the goal of attaining healthy children in the environment is less superficial. Healthy student are more capable in reaching their full potential to learn, and the course of understanding these essential artifacts about the importance of health can encourage/maintain healthy lifestyle in the setting of one’s life. In evaluating my overall health literacy, I must say that culture is the greatest influence to my understanding of heath.

Coming from a Chinese descent, health is placed second on the priority list. It is quite absurd to see a doctor because of a minor cold, where home remedies like medicine could potentially avoid the trip to seek health information from professionals. Unless, it is a severe illness a doctor’s visit was usually unnecessary. Hence, the culture of my family has influenced my accessibility to heath information that leaves my ability to accessing health information relatively limited. However, when seeking health information my first consultant would definitely be the internet. I believe I am not the only one that may attempt the internet when it comes to questions relating heath, since in our generation the internet has appeared to be the first domain we undertake before anything else. I would usually Google search in the health inquiry and skim through the information listed. Even though the internet is a great resource, I do keep a conscious mind that there are inaccurate information on the web. Moreover, the advantage of using the internet as an advocate to general health inquiry is because it is a quicker option and avoids the fear of asking ‘dumb’ questions. Besides the internet is operated 24-7, is a safer and nonjudgmental domain. The only shortfall of using the internet in accessing health information is the information may lack authentic and the respondent may not necessarily be a professional in the field.

I wonder how functional it would be if there were certified websites operated by health professionals, where the questioner could send their message and the professional could respond immediately. It would be very convenient for users to ask question without feeling anxious that they are going to be judged upon. If there were such an innovation like this “instant chat health-line” (instead of help-line), I think it would have a substantially large market especially with our society in favouring the level of conveniences, fast response, and no line up type of medium.

As a starter, I would like to enhance my access to health information of my interest in relation to understanding more regarding school health in the Elementary school setting. In addition, my goal is to gradually make adjustment in being more attentive towards general health information. And ultimately becoming a health guru and abolishing the Chinese cultural norm that has influence my limited access to health information, and being the one to inform my family about critical health information that they ought to know.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Hey I edited this for you :) 496 words. Good luck!

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    In the last decade the awareness in school health has increased substantianlly. It is considered that healthy children are capable of reaching their full potential to learn and are equipped to achieving more throughout their lifetime. However, to accomplish this you must consider numerous factors such as social and physical support, the involvement of family and community, school health services and other elements. Understanding these essential factors regarding health encourages a healthy lifestyle. In evaluating my overall health literacy, I must say that culture is the greatest influence to my understanding of health.

    Coming from a Chinese descent, health is placed second on the priority list. It is quite absurd to see a doctor because capable of reaching their full potential to learn of a minor cold, where home remedies could potentially avoid the trip to seek health information from professionals. Unless it is a severe illness which is effecting my day to day activity a lot a doctor’s visit is usually unnecessary. The culture of my family has influenced my accessibility to health information which leaves my knowledge of general healthcare limited. When seeking health advice, my first consultant is the nternet. I believe there are many who visit the internet when it comes to questions relating to health, since in our generation the internet has appeared to be the first domain we undertake before anything else. I would usually type in my symptoms to a search engine like Google, and then look at the advice given on different sites. However, I do keep a conscious mind as I am aware that the respondent may not necessarily be a professional in the field, but the advantage of using the internet as an advocate to general health enquiries is that it's a quicker option and avoids the fear of asking 'silly' questions. Unlike the doctors, the internet offers 24/7 advice, so no matter what time I feel unwell, I can always rely on the internet straight away.

    I wonder how functional it would be if there were certified websites operated by health professionals where the questioner could send their message and await the advice of a professionals advice. It would be very convenient for users to ask question without feeling anxious that they are going to be judged upon. If there were such an innovation like this “instant chat health-line” (instead of help-line), I think it would have a substantially large market especially with our society favouring the level of conveniences, fast response and no embarassment.

    To begin with I would like to expand my knowledge regarding health in the Elementary school setting. In addition, my goal is to gradually make adjustments by being more attentive towards general health information. Ultimately I'd like to become a health guru and abolish the Chinese cultural norm that has influenced my limited access to health information in the past, and to instead be the person who tells my family about critical health information that they ought to know.

    Source(s): fluent in english.
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