Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Arts & HumanitiesBooks & Authors · 1 decade ago

Car crash scene in my book?

IN the first chapter of my book a 17 year old and her 42 year old mother are in a car crash. The mother is killed and the teenager escapes with only minor injuries. They can each see the future. They see the car upturned in a ditch beside a busted guardrail.

The car tires slip on newly frozen ice, and I was wonder how I could do this? This is what I have so far. I cut out the first 17 paragraphs when they're talking about their gifts, to prevent plagiarism.

Alright,” I said, hitting the six on the small black phone in my right hand.

I felt my stomach turn, and looked at my mother. Her eyes met mine. The deep chocolate brown fading quickly into a icy blue gave me the feeling mine were as well. The present faded as the future was in clear focus.

A car, green and small overturned beside a damaged guardrail. People were rushing to it, opening the doors. Someone in the growing crowd shouted something that sounded like 'Don't move there necks!'. Another person was telling someone she was on the phone with 911.

The present was clear once more, and my mother's piercing scream mingled with mine. I felt the car slide, and her hands fell from the wheel when her forehead hit it. I watched as she slumped over herself. With her head on the door.

I was tempted to scream, but I knew it wouldn't help. The car was still sliding under me and I saw the same guardrail that had been in my vision. The wheel was turning on it's own accord I leaned over my mother and grabbed it mid-turn.

This would not happen. I wouldn't let it. We'd both be fine. The wheel was turning still, my hand kept slipping on the warm circle.

Update:

this is the very very very first draft.

2 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    How about this: The girl stops the car to avoid an accident, but a car behind them can't stop (they where tailgating), the car with the characters looses control, crashes into the ditch on a left turn, car rolls over.

  • 1 decade ago

    Jeez, that's amazing! So intense! I'd say keep it the way it is. That's crazy good. Is it on a site? Like where I can read the rest of it? It is REALLY good :)

    Could you read mine and leave a review? Pretty please?

    http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2886130/1/Its_A_Craz...

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