I think my roommate is a sociopath?
I think my good friend is a sociopath, but I'm not entirely sure. About a year ago, he was kicked out of his residence after an altercation involving a girl he hooked up with and a guy who tried to go for this same girl. Apparently they wanted him kicked out because he lied about being in a gang and having killed someone in the past, so they feared for their lives and suspected he was psychotic.
I'm not really sure what happened, but as far as I know he exploded and anger and threatened the guy who tried to take his girl. He tried to come up with a rationalization for his actions, a long speech with vague, convoluted details. This included a fabricated story about lying to others about being in a gang and killing off gang members, but 'accidentally' omitting the fact that the gang members actually represented his emotions, and killing them off was a mechanism to solve his own mental issues. He told me he came up with this with the help of his lawyer uncle (which later, I found was a lie), and asked me for my help. He described the situation in such a way that made his actions appear entirely reasonable and excusable, but the speech showed clear traits of manipulative actions and psychological abuse.
He ended up seeing a therapist, and around this time I couldn't help but notice him bring up the topic of sociopathy several times. He told me about the test asking him questions such as "Are you fascinated by weapons?" He later described one instance in which a friend of ours from junior high was diagnosed as a sociopath and a couple days later, brought up another situation in which his girlfriend was consoling a guy who left her because "He had absolutely no feelings for her and was probably a sociopath." I don't know if these were lies to subtly hunt at the fact that he had been diagnosed himself, and he was trying to gauge my opinion of sociopaths.
My friend has a history of lying and has gone through many girlfriends in the past year alone. He appears like a straight-A, goody-two shoes university student to most, but I feel this is a facade to hide his dark side. He is highly intelligent, very logical, and has many friends. On some days he is a really soft-spoken, devout Christian, singing songs with his church group every week. Sometimes he is a diligent, 'cool', environmental engineering student. Other times he goes out with his partying, weed-smoking friends and gets belligerently drunk, loud, angry, and aggressive. It's like he plays different roles depending on who he around or who is watching.
Now I live with him. He is a control freak. He got annoyed that my roommate left dishes piling up in the sink once. My roommate left a couple plates and some forks in the sink the next morning, so my other friend left 3 or 4 signs all around the kitchen that said "Put dishes in dishwashers after using. Do NOT leave in sink. Failure to comply will result in PENALTY." He will stomp around the apartment and slam all the doors when he doens't get his way with something. He is passive-aggressive and subtly manipulative.
Could he be a sociopath? Should I trust him anymore? Is it time to hide all my credit cards, ID cards, etc?
- Lynn HentyLv 610 years agoFavorite Answer
I think he is bad and will get worse, also you may be at some risk because you "know him too well"
I would live elsewhere
- anonymousPersonLv 710 years ago
He certainly could be. I would say you should hide your financial/identification papers, just in case. Read "The Sociopath Next Door" by Martha Stout, Ph.D. for more information about sociopaths.
- 10 years ago
I would no way trust him! He sounds VERY disturbed. I don't know if he is a sociopath but he clearly has mental problems and anger issues!!
If I were you I'd get a new roommate...and yes, hide your id's and cc's in the meantime.
- 10 years ago
its sounds more like he is a psychopath. sociopaths tend to be disorganized and unable to care for themselves or others whereas your roommate sounds like he blends in well with society and is very organized (like a psychopath). you should talk to a professional in person so he can ask you questions about his behavior because what you have written here is enough to diagnose anything.
p.s. random acts of violence are usually the determining factor of a socio/psychopathic diagnosis
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- moomieLv 610 years ago
narcissistic maybe, and very possibly a sociopath. this link has a checklist of signs and some resources that may be of help: http://www.sociopathicstyle.com/traits/classic.htm
- 10 years ago
i dunno about him being sociopathic...but he's not normal.