I am so tired of being teased all the time. How do I make this better?
I feel like i am going to explode!!!
My and brother just recently moved back home for a little bit he is 22 and he always has his best childhood friend (who I have known forever to) come over and the 2 of them do nothing but tease me.
It's not like what they are doing is anything new for me because from everyone in the family and my friends, sometimes, I am the butt of the joke. I have always taken it with a grain of salt, and I've always laughed it all but right now it's happening every goddamn night, and my fuse is near detanating. No matter what I say someone finds a mistake with it, and as of lately my older brother has been the king of doing that. I thought him coming back would be fun and it was for the first few weeks but now we are drifting apart because he is always so damn moody, and gets mad at everything, but if I get a little upset suddenly I'm blowing everything out of proportion and I'm being to sensitie just like mother is. It's taking me to my last nerve, he is always telling me how I am or what I am, like there is always something wrong with what I am doing.
He is not the only one in my family to do this, but right now he is doing most of it. I have family get togethers, you would think because I'm the only girl in my family out of 3 cousins and 1 brother (my kind of generation), I would be dotted on more so but I'm not. I'm clumsy and a bit ditzy but they make out to be as if I'm a total retard (for lack of a better word). I don't think I'm stupid, I struggle and I have immune system problems. I'm sick alot and I've always been that way, it's actually been hard for me in many ways but they find reasons to make fun of it or if I say "I've got another cold" they make it out to be as if it's my fault or I did something wrong. I have alot of problems with my family and I have always felt left out and not wanted. My dad never showed much interest in me as a child, and when I did go to his place he had a horrible temper and was terrifying for me, luckily I do not speak with him anymore, but it's been nearly 5 years since I decided to cut ties with him and I've only ever gotten 2 calls from him, I didn't answer but he never tried calling back on either of them. I also had a step brother from my fathers side and I still keep in touch with him over email and chat bu7t he is going to war in october of this year and I believe it is stressing me out, I have told a few people in my family about this and not one of them showed much care, no "are you doing okay" or "how is that making you feel". It would be really nice to hear someone ask me "are you okay" once in awhile. My mom runs off with her boyfriends (she has a new one like every 3 years) all the time, she has been almost all around the world and the farthest I've ever gone with her was Disney world when I was 8 and British Columbia like twice. My family finds ways of making of everything I have to say. If they compliment me they with have a retort after words with a "but..." and then it has turned into an insult or another belittlement. I like who I am and I wish my family could accept me for all of who I am, the bad stuff, my argumentive ways (which really aren't that bad), my clumsy-ness etc. I just really don't feel good about myself around them and especially right now around my brother. He gets mad and I ask if everything is okay but then he gets more mad and goes off and sulks and becomes ****, but when I get mad and for a good reason, I'm being cranky (wouldn't you be after being teased all day long), unfriendly, or too sensitive. I know I'm not stupid like they always point me out to be. I like myself the way I am. I just wish they could to.
Could someone please give me advice on how to get through this all and not end up blowing up in front of everyone, because I'm pretty positive it will happen at some point.
Good advice would be lovely
- 9 years agoFavorite Answer
Show them what you have got, eat spinach, ignore them, they are immature, pretend you are so used to it that it does not affect you.Make your own strategy.Know that he doesn't know better, and use what you got, like your self-confidence.It is clear for what you have said, that you are the right one in this case so don't worry.
- Anonymous9 years ago
I'm sorry that you have been thru so much and my heart goes out to you being that I know how you feel since Ive been there. Im going to tell you what the problem is and how to fix it but you just have to believe what I am going to say because it may seem a little out there but it is real.
Our universe that we live in works on certain laws like the law of gravity. No matter how good of a person you are if you jump off of the 20th floor of a building you will fall and hit the ground. That's just the way it is. Another law that we live with is the law of attraction. This law in short states that like attracts like. You are probably wondering how this relates to you. Well everything in your life, the good things and the bad things, you attract to you. If you are constantly worried and concentrating on how much someone is teasing you or any other negative thought, that is what is going to be drawn to you. I know it sounds crazy but it is real. The moment you start thinking more positively, the more positive things will come your way. Reading your post reminded me of my life except it was a lot worse. I was constantly having bad things happen to me time after time again to the point that other people were noticing it. Once I stopped focusing on the negative things that was happening to me and started looking for things to be thankful for, everything started to change.This is an extremely short version of what i would tell someone in this situation but this documentary called 'The Secret' breaks down and explains this law to you. Consider this a very valuable gift to be used and shared with others who are going thru what you are going thru. If you really listen to my message this WILL help you and change you life.
You can find the full version of this film on netflix or you can watch the first 20 min on youtube.
With lots of love
And one more thing, don't look for others to fulfill your needs or else you will always be lacking in some way or another. Whatever it is that you are needing find it, and know it within yourself and then it will be know to others. Also, this is method may take time according to how quick you can change your thinking. Don't give up though. Keep your head up.
- SniperBabyLv 49 years ago
I have no idea how old you are, but I'm going to tell you a little about me. I went through the same thing, but it was kids in elementary school (I was the fat kid who got pimples in FIFTH grade, now I'm pretty fit and gorgeous!) hehe.
I got through my problems with a number of tricks. Do you go to school? Surround yourself with good friends and try to hang out with them often!! Also, keep your mind on school work (I am a firm believer that this is why I'm intelligent; I got serious into school when I was being teased). Ask your mom for some money and join a sports team!
You can't make your parents or your brother change. It sounds like your brother may have BiPolar disorder, or a similar mood disorder. IT IS NOT YOU! IT'S THEM! <<remember that, always!
I'm 21, my brother is 10. We tease each other, but jokingly. I'm too old to tease someone harshly (and so is your brother!) There's a difference between cute teasing and harsh teasing.
This is unfair and you need to get yourself away from the situation (mentally). Like I said, study, make good grades and rub it in their face years from now when you've been accepted to law school!! That's what I did...
It'll get easier. When you grow older, your feelings will change. You are strong. Remember that, too.
Best wishes, I really hope things work out for you and your future. xx
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- 9 years ago
Ask him when he is trying to make a joke,
"Why are you so insecure? Then walk away. No need to hang around negative people.