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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFriends · 1 decade ago

My 4 Best Friends And I Aren't So Close :/ Help !?!?!?

My 4 bestfriends and I love eachother so much. However in the past month it been..a little awkward. We dont do things as a group we do them with one other person or we get in little fight more often. We think other girls in our group are keeping secrets. Any tips or advice?

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    There are two ways to bring relationships closer, and you are only responsible for yourself so you can't make anyone else act differently.

    The first thing is called "liking" it's the behaviors that are taking place when someone knows you like them, and you feel they like you. All stupid bad salesmen will try to say "You have to get people to like you" which is false, that's the cart before the horse. In order for anyone to truly like you, that person has to know that you like them! So if you genuinely like your friends, you should think what about them do you genuinely like, and then show them you like this about them.

    For example if one friend is an artist, ask them questions about what they have been drawing lately, and ask them questions about art. Usually young people don't know a lot of art history, so just ask questions and be truly interested... If you have a friend that likes fashion, tell them you really like the way their shoes go with their belt (if you really do), if they like make up tell them they have a really pretty shade of blush or whatever that goes with their eyes... don't be a know-it-all about any subject that your friends like. You are not trying to show them you know all about it, just that you appreciate that they like it. GIVE THEM APPROVAL for the good and positive things that they do, or the nice things. Another huge way to show your friends that you like your relationship is to cooperate on a project: do they have to do chores at home, are they trying to do something for a club at school? Tell them you would love to help them, and make it a fun thing- chores are always better when friends help you. It really helps a relationship to spend time together accomplishing things.

    The second principle is giving. You also have to know what kind of things that your friends like. This kind of goes back to helping and cooperating, but in the reciprocity sense you are giving your effort. You can give information about things you know will be helpful to them, or you can give small customized gifts based on things that they like. If your goal is to keep the group united, you should maybe get everybody a customized gift of equal value at about the same time.

    These two ideas will help good relationships work, but it won't make bad relationships work. Sometimes people go their separate ways because they need totally different types of friendships, and the most loving thing you can do sometimes is not fight with someone who wants to make new friends or go in a different direction.

    Source(s): References: Robert Cialdini, "Influence: Science and Practice"
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    If it's going to on often like that, then maybe you should just give up on them. Find new hobbies, friends are important. However, life in the future is more important equally as well.

    Hobbies could be flying kites, lying down and looking at the floating clouds, imagine and pretend to have an adventure. Watch cartoons, play a new instrument, go to the library and explore new books that you have interests in.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    It's normal. My friend and I used to never get into fights when we were younger, but about a year ago we had trouble confiding in each other. It's just a stage in friendship. Once you get over that rocky part in your friendship, it will be better! But sometimes group friendships don't work as well. My friend introduced this girl into our "group" and I HATED her!

  • 1 decade ago

    Give it time.. be honest and open... talk about it when the moment feels right. good luck.

    there's ups and downs with all friendships.

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