Is it rude if some one doesn't wanna be friends with a person who is "depressed" Every day?
The friend makes me depressed.I give her advice.She just knocks the advice down.She wants life to change.Not gonna change unless you do something.I feel like she just likes the attention.
- 9 years agoFavorite Answer
no it's not, it's you're rights who you want to be friends with and you've been patient trying to help her and it seems like she doesn't want it and you're at the end of the line. just tell her that you do care but you can't be around someone that acts like this and you given her plenty of advices/help and you can't handle it, but maybe every once in a while and see how she's doing and if it doesn't seem like she's changed, still the same person then let her go, hopefully she does one day wake up.
- 9 years ago
Rude is the wrong word to use here.
I have had the same experience but reserved, I was the "depressed" one. My friend would constantly try to help, but I would just blow off his advice. Eventually, I got over it and I did not lose his friendship.
So yes, I understand the strain she is putting on your friendship.
My advice: (but only if you think this will not hurt/anger your friend)
Part 1: Give her the "tough love" approach. Give it to her straight, you care about her but she needs to start getting better or she's needs to stop moping around.
(Part one is on a case by case basis, someone this will work on to a great effect, some it will only cause a greater rift. If you think it will work, by all means go for it, if not, go to part two.
This is also the easier way to see if she's doing it for attention. Attention lovers will go on and on about how bad their life is or what is bothering them.)
Part 2: Go do stuff with her. When I went through my depressed phase, I never had the drive to do anything, but once people got me out of the house, I had fun.
Take her places with constant stimulation, where she won't have a chance to think about those feelings, like a movie or play video games with her.
Part 3: Let her vent every now and and again, not a lot, but whenever she is feeling really bad. It will show her that you care.
Part 4: If she's doing this for attention, definitely give her the tough love approach. Tell her you care about her, you can't listen to her stories all the time.
Best of luck!Source(s): Experience
- FaitheLv 69 years ago
You're not saying you don't want to be friends; you're saying you don't want to be burdened with feeling the way she makes you feel so often. That is not rude; that is natural.
You have been anything but rude by offering her advice. She has been rude by not taking it. (Although this is common with clinically depressed people...She's not being purposely rude...She either can't see the wisdom in your advice or, more likely, does not feel up to taking it.)
You're right that she needs to change her own life (possibly with the help of a professional). I'm not sure that her frequent complaining about her life is attention-seeking behavior; I think that when you listen and offer advice you are showing you care, and feeling that care gives her unhappy life a slight, temporary boost. But she needs that boost over and over because she is not making any changes that will provide her with permanent good feelings. You're her drug. It's a compliment. Or, slight chance, she's waiting for you to push her into action - whether that be changing her life or getting on a psychiatrist's prescribed drug which will enable her brain to work more like the brains of non-depressed people.
You may want to have a talk with her that goes something like this: "You are such a good friend, and I care about you a lot. That's why it hurts so much to constantly see you in such pain, and to know that no matter how I've tried, I can't help you. I really think that for the good of us both, we need to limit our conversations to things that an ordinary, untrained person like me can talk about...and that when you need to talk about things that make you sad, you talk to a psychiatrist who can surely help you more than I can. At least it's worth a try." And then, once in a while, talk to her about things you talk about with other people, do things together you might do with other people. If/When she starts bringing up the same old stuff, smile, gently put a finger to her lips, and say, "Remember? I don't feel qualified to talk about that stuff. I've never helped before, so I won't be able to help now. Tell me about ______ instead. [or , Let's do _____ instead]." If she refuses and starts going into the same old routine, say "I'm sorry. Because I care about you, I can't do this," and walk away or hang up the phone. It will be tough on both of you, but there's nothing else you can do. You can't allow yourself to be her drug and prolong her situation, and it's not fair to you.
I feel bad for you and for her, and wish you both the best of luck.Source(s): reading, having a depressed person in the family
- VelvetRoseLv 79 years ago
No, I doubt she knocks your advice down, she may be listening and just maybe you being there for her gets her through a difficult time. She should also go to the doctor and ask for advice regarding her depression. Don't be depress, cheer up!
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- Anonymous9 years ago
No it isn't rude at all. You can only do for them what they will allow you to do for them. After a while it starts effecting your mental health and you need to stay on a path that helps you through the ruff times. Now I know your looking at my avatar and saying to yourself this kid is whacked, and your right. But heed my advise because I am still very much sane and happy.
- mccranieLv 44 years ago
Yeah .. that has got here approximately to me until now. usually whilst i replaced into in severe college. Ahhh candy thoughts. you're precise this is a sturdy feeling. Its candy to take heed to somebody say that to you. =)
- 9 years ago
I wouldn't want to be friends with her. Just tell her you need some space, and maybe, if you want to, you can grow farther apart from her. It sounds like that's what you want to do. If not, just tell her that you can't help her with the things that only she can do and she's not helping herself by being depressed.
- Anonymous9 years ago
Why is she depressed? If she's just depressed to be depressed, and has no reason then you needa tell her you're tired of her bringing you down and if she doesn't stop then yall won't be friends anymore. but if that doesn't work i guess yall will just have to stop being friends.
- epiphanyLv 49 years ago
- CarolineLv 79 years ago
No, that's self preservation. People who whine and ask for advice and then don't take it are just attention hos. My husband's cousin is like that and I want to smack him.