Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingAdolescent · 9 years ago

HELP - Self esteem issues?

I have really bad self esteem, physically, and also socially. Can you guys help me with how to be more confident? I also hate my financial situation, and feel like it's my fault (even though it's not, I work.) I feel like everyone has it easier and is also better than me, I get jealous really easily. (I don't show it, though.)

I'm not going to post a picture, that's like fishing for compliments, but my Flickr is on my Bio if you really want to see.

BQ: What do you love/hate about yourself?

STAR if you've ever felt bad about yourself!

22 Answers

  • 9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    You are BEAUTIFUL, Juliette! Really, you are. I was in your exact position and I still am, and I know what you're going through.

    I was told to go look in the mirror, find 5 things that I like about myself, then smile. It actually helped, because it showed that i was ME.

    And who cares what other people think? Yeah, okay, everyone..but we really shouldn't. It's about what you think and like.

    This isn't really a lot of help..but I hope it helps a little.

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  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    First off you are definitely beautiful! I can definitely relate to your insecurities though. I've have always felt like a disgusting person for as long as I can remember. I had a very dysfunctional childhood, which I believe is the main cause for it, and because of that I have been dealing with eating disorders for 7 years. I really hope that is something you never go through, because it's so so hard. If you are still in high school, then I'll tell you that it get SO much better after you graduate. And even if you've already graduated, it is always going to get better with age! With that being said, I'm a strong believer in changing yourself in anyway you think will make you feel better about yourself. I got breast implants when I was 19, and it helped my self-esteem by like 100%. They're not huge, just a full B. But before I was completely flat and now with a better boob to stomach ratio, I've gained a little weight and I feel SO much more confident. So if there's anything about yourself that you really really dislike, enough to have surgery for it, I highly recommend saving up and just doing it! You won't regret it.

    About the financial situation I can definitely relate to that as well. After I graduated high school and got out of my mom's house, which was what was holding me back, I did everything right. I started college, I got the boob job [which of course helped my self-esteem], I bought a house, I got a promotion at work that was full time [a position that only one person can hold at a time], I was promised another promotion as soon as I got my degree, I was on a plan to graduate in 3 years [with a 4 year degree], I got engaged to my boyfriend of 4 years, I bought a brand new car about a month and a half before graduation [because I was extremely financially stable and I knew i was getting another promotion], then one month after I got my car and two weeks before graduation, I lost my job, also loosing my promised promotion. TWO WEEKS. My 21st birthday was also a week after graduation and I had a trip planned to Las Vegas that has been paid for 6 months previously. So now here are I am 5 days before I turn 21 and leave for Vegas. I still don't have a job, I have hundreds of dollars worth of bills a month, and of course I wanted to have plenty of money to spend in Las Vegas for this once in a lifetime opportunity, but now I'm broke and don't even know how I'm going to pay all of my bills next month. My point in saying all of this was to say that no matter how well off you are and how hard you work, and even if you do everything right, financial situations like this one can come up. Trust me, I hate myself almost more than I ever have before. But that doesn't mean it's my fault, and yours isn't your fault either. Just work as hard as you can and do what you can do, and in the end everything will be ok. c:

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  • 9 years ago

    You are gorgeous !! And I think you know it b/c you said you'd be fishing for compliments rather than insults Aha :) I don't have much confidence myself -- so I'm not sure how great of advice I can give you, but maybe if you pretend to be confident you'll actually become confident. I read that somewhere, you pretend to be something and you become it, it's like a mind trick.

    Even better - get out of your comfort zone, do things that scare you. If you can do a number of things that you THINK you can't do, and then prove to yourself that you can do them. Then you'll start feeling more confident towards other things in general.

    Also one more thing, who wants an easy life? My life totally sucks most of the time, but that's good, because the more I go through the more I learn. Easy, 'perfect' lives are not better... and having a life like that would not make someone better. Try to develop a positive attitude, that will change your life I guarantee.

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  • I would feel confident enough if I see a beautiful girl in the mirror every day :)

    I don't know if it this would work, but here is something the counselor at my school told us: Get a piece of paper and write down your strengths and your weaknesses. Keep editing this paper until you are satisfied with what you've written. Now keep reading it daily until you are really sure that what you wrote down are your real abilities and skills. Now, whenever you are faced by someone criticizing you or labeling you, you can simply see if any of what he/she said matches your judgment of yourself. If it doesn't, just drop the comment. Take pride in what you are good at.

    Even though you care, most people wouldn't care about your financial situation as long as they have a good time with you.

    Some people are more fortunate than others, but I'm pretty sure lots of people are jealous of your beauty.

    BQ: I love the grades I get on tests, but I hate how I make myself look like a moron.

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  • MJay
    Lv 6
    9 years ago

    Holy crap you are so pretty! Anyway something you can do to feel good about yourself is do something that you really enjoy. I mean work is WORK we do it because have to, but let's say you like kids for example; you could volunteer at a school, or a camp a few days a week or help out at the local hospital. Join something that you think will make you feel like you're making a change in someone's life that's always the best remedy for low confidence. Take a look in the mirror and point out what makes you unique and beautiful, like if you have birthmark that you're proud of or you have a red streak in your hair, something that makes you, YOU

    BQ I love my smile, my freckles, my athleticism, and my height makes me unique (4'11 and I'm 15)

    I hate my weight ( okay not hate just dislike I'd be fine 15 pounds lighter), and my ability to be sub good friends with guys, never more

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  • .
    Lv 6
    9 years ago

    Okay, to start off with.. you're beautiful. No, beautiful might even be an understatement for how pretty you are. I fail to grasp why you have bad self esteem physically. I know a thousand girls(including me) would die to look like you!

    When it comes to self-esteem, you can't imagine that it'll go just by confronting yourself with thoughts like 'I'm a good person, I don't deserve this' or 'I'm happy'. You can't improve self-esteem (in a meaningful way) but just thinking happy thoughts or trying to lift your mood without doing anything. The research actually shows that the more a person thinks about their level of happiness, the harder it is to be happy.

    You need to bring in note all your strengths. Any talent of yours, or even a little quality you possess is counted as a strength. You need to be content and satisfied from the inside to let your aura bring it out on the outside. Put aside your weaknesses, everyone has them and tries to hide them. You need to look at the brighter side and think about all the opportunities life has to offer you. So what you're not financially stable? Look at all the celebrities out there, they weren't billionaires before they made it big. Abraham Lincoln was an ugly man, Martin Luther King was black, Mahatma Gandhi was never smart.

    I like to believe if God takes something from you, he'll give you something in return, surely. You just have to find what he gave you. Yes, it might take some time but don't just let all your hopes down. How do you expect to be better, if you can't dream?

    To lose your bad self esteem, you need to do things that not only make you feel good but satisfied too. For karma to do its magic, you need to give and then you'll get. Help people. Get close to people. Know how their minds work. Make people happy. I don't mean that you become a complete people-pleaser. Instead, undertake something that you can be proud of when you accomplish it. Instead of just writing daily entries in your journal, write a short story using your experiences. Volunteer and help someone less fortunate than you, or at the ASPCA. Write your grandmother a nice card for no reason. As you put forth effort, you'll find that you naturally feel better about yourself.

    Know that there are SO many people feeling the same pain as you. Same angst as you. You are not alone. There are hundreds and thousands of teens, going through the same as you. Listen to the song Tied Together With a Smile - Taylor Swift. I don't know if you like to read or not, but the Secret is a great read. You'll feel much better after seeing so many people just like you at the same platform, with the same issue.

    You'll know you're confident enough when you can look in the mirror and smile. Do things that make YOU happy. Play the guitar, dance around, sing at the top of your lungs, smile every living second, laugh like there's no tomorrow, tell your loved ones how much you love them. Just let go. :)

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  • 9 years ago

    At least you've got a job. I've been applying everywhere around my place and I still haven't got a call from any of them. Don't let jealousy control you. Instead, try to be better than everyone else. I used to have self esteem issues too,but it went away cause I realised that everyone is kind of equal. I mean someone could look smart and pretty, but their realationships with people are pretty hell.

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  • 9 years ago

    This is cliche to say, but EVERYONE is beautiful.

    And, also, try not to worry about all the things you can't control.

    "Worrying is stupid. It's like walking around with an umbrella, waiting for it to rain." -- Wiz Khalifa. :)

    I also get jealous very easily. I feel as though I sort of have certain rights to my friends that no one else has, haha. But it just shows that I care about them.

    And trust me, a lot of people have it harder than you. You probably ate this week, some kids in Africa didn't, you know? You always feel as though you have it bad, but you have to look from a different perspective, you know?

    BQ: Love: My eyes, my hair, my determination, my knowledge. Hate: My acne, my small boobs, my thumbs (trust me, they are abnormally weird, hahah.)

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  • 9 years ago

    THIS IS WILL REALLY HELP just a random fun lil thing to do might help u feel better

    1. Stand in front of a mirror and wear a serious face on

    2. Try to keep the straight face in the mirror while looking at yourself and say "I love myself " , bet u cant not smile :))

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  • ......
    Lv 6
    9 years ago

    Girl you are pretty damn gorgeous!!

    Even if you dont think you are beauty is LIMITLESS and you can be an kind of beautiful

    You seem like a really really nice person! And you should never worry about things you can't control, like your money problems! I remember a quote I read once said the more we dwell on our misfortunes the more they hurt us like walking through a thorn bush.

    BQ: I like that I can be fun and helpful but I hate how sometimes I can be a complete idiot

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