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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in HealthMental Health · 10 years ago

Getting ride of GUILT :(?

So I've always had a problem being honest. I'm 22 and lie like I'm about 4 years old. I lie to cover stupid little things up, that I would just rather not talk about, or to make something more interesting. Basically little white lies. You'd think I'd know better to stop. I'm well educated and have a good job, nice car etc, but it's just a habit I cannot break.

Two years ago, at about this time, things went horribly, horribly wrong. I just ended a relationship (not because of my lying) and just couldn't seem to make myself happy. I was miserable and very desperate to be happy again. I was happier in a relationship and made a plenty of fish account in hopes of finding somebody. I did. Things were great, we had a lot in common, life was good until it came time to actually meet and he just wasn't interested at all. I automatically chalked it up to not being good enough. To prove a point, I made a fake account with this absolutely gorgeous girl, but i was a complete bi*ch to him. Nice girls are boring. Well it worked, he fell head over heels for her, and wanted to meet up immediately. Shocker. Unfortunately, I got way too caught up in it way too fast. I fell in love with him too, and didn't want to be unhappy again. There is no one reason someone does something like that. I guess I was just desperate and so very tired of being lonely. Needless to say, it took A LOT of lies to keep this going. I knew how wrong it was and felt extremely guilty. I made up so many excuses to drive him away and just didn't have the will power to stop talking to him myself. You don't have to tell me how messed up that is because I already know.

I feel beyond horrible. We talked off an on for about a year. It's been 8 months since we talked. My recent ex found out about the whole thing and freaked. I thought I was going to marry this guy, so I trusted him enough to tell him. He told me I was sick and f*cked up and needed mental help and to never talk to him again.

How do I move past this? I don't want it ruining the rest of my life, it was just a horrible, horrible mistake. No body died, there are worse things...right?

2 Answers

Relevance
  • 10 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    This may sound crazy to you but life can be so much easier if you tell the truth, take your punishment, for your mistakes, and move on.It works great for me and l feel sure it will work great for you.

  • Anonymous
    10 years ago

    TL:DR

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