Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Education & ReferenceWords & Wordplay · 10 years ago

GRAMMAR CHECK - for an opinion piece?

While some may argue that athletes are tested mentally and physically, when they play their respective sports, they are nothing more than entertainers.

The social learning theory, perhaps the most influential theory of learning and development, proposed by Albert Bandura, argued that people learn new information and behaviours by watching other people.

According to this theory, children may imitate the positive behaviours an athlete practices in his sport, such as following rules, striving for improvement and teamwork. But, they will also emulate the missteps and mishaps of athletes.

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  • Froggy
    Lv 7
    10 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    'While some may argue that athletes are tested mentally and physically when they play their respective sports, they are ALBEIT SIMPLY entertainers.

    The Social Learning theory (OR OBSERVATIONAL LEARNING), perhaps the most influential theory of learning and development proposed by Albert Bandura, argued that people learn new information and behaviours MORE READILY by watching OTHERS.

    According to this theory, children may imitate the positive behaviours an athlete practices in his sport such as following rules, striving for improvement and teamwork BUT they will also emulate the MISTAKES and mishaps of athletes.'

    *Hope you don't mind, but athletes called 'nothing more than entertainers' is rather demeaning and belittling their sacrifices, so I suggest my alteration.

    Have also removed some not needed punctuation.

    Source(s): Educator
  • 10 years ago

    Sounds good. I might say "demonstrates" instead of "practices in his sport".

    Also missteps is not really a word, so I might use mistakes instead.

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