Wifes best friend threatened me with police action because I accessed his mobile bills to catch her?

My wife and I have been married for nearly ten years and have two small kids. We are both Indians and live in Delhi, India. For the last few months, I had noticed a change in her behaviour and she seemed to have no time for me or the kids. She was spending a lot of time on the internet and on the phone. I found an sms at 11 PM in her mobile phone one day and suspected her of having an affair. I confronted her and she denied it totally. I then proceeded to get mobile phone bills of her "friend" and was shattered to find that he called her almost everyday, talked to her for more time than she spends on the phone with me and sent her 4-5 text messages everyday. She also used to delete all his sms messages and his number from the call logs. My wife went to her parents home after fighting with me about this saying that I was wrong and she was just friends with this guy. A week later, her friend suspected me of hacking into his gmail and she fought with me about it. Thereafter, he sent me a threatening email saying that my career is over and he will ensure that I go to prison for accessing his mobile phone bills and hacking his gmail etc. My wife had absolutely no comment to make about this, she even protected him saying that I should not have accessed his mobile bills. We were headed for divorce courts but are presently trying to settle our differences for the sake of the kids. She absolutely refuses to stop talking to him. She says she wants both me and her friend in her life. Husbands out there, please tell me if you could accept this "friendship", would appreciate quick answers since I am hoping to have a heart to heart with her tomorrow. Thanks in advance for your help.

Update:

I do love her a lot and am not worried about any potential police action from the silly dumb f**k. My question is should I accept her and continue to live with her?

Update 2:

I did not actually hack into his gmail. The guy says his gmail was accessed from a blackberry. Even an accomplished hacker would find it difficult to do that. He may have accused me of hacking to create a further divide and she fell for it.

8 Answers

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  • 8 years ago
    Best Answer

    Hi

    Nothing wrong in accessing his mobile bill and hacking his email(if u have done that), since you found the evidence what you expected. If your wife means the relationship as a "Good friend", no need to hide it from you. Sure it is fishy since she delete the sms and calls. Instead of confronting with her against all these, first think it over from her point of view. If she has fallen for him in a emotional way, there is something missing betwen you and her. That is what that idiot taking advantage of. It is really a most cheap and 3rd rated thing to break a family. The moment he got to know you didnt like it, he should hv moved away and she also should hv left it. If it was a real good frndship, this is what would have happened.

    Just forget about that dumb idiot and his threat. He will be behind bars if you give the proof of frequent calls to your wife. Talk to her wife in a calm and cool way. First ask her where you went wrong in making her think of someone else. Tell her that the way she hide things so far tells clearly that something is happening behind. No need to hide or sugar coat anything and you want a open talk to decide what next. Tell her you want to make things work and get back to your happy married life. Tell her to take time and think what she wants to do. Before you talk to her, see her parents with all the evidence and ask them how they expect you to react. Tell them, this is not a complaint against your wife, but your want their guidance as elders and equal to your parents. Never get emotional during the talk and keep cool.

    msg me in ym if u wish. Keep cool, everything will be ok

    my id frndly13

  • 8 years ago

    Well im not a husband but I dont think he can "end your carrer" and you have the right to be curious about this guy. However, don't let him come between you may be could start talking/ phoning your female friends just to see how she reacts and then say well that's how you felt all the time. or you could ask her how she would feel if you were constantly texting your female friends. And if she says she would be completely fine about then put it to the test but not in a super obvious way so that it looks as though you are trying to be spiteful.

    Or just tell her how you feel and that you love her (if she really loves you she will understand)

    Good luck tomorrow ;) xxx

  • E&L
    Lv 7
    8 years ago

    You must admit that hacking into another's account was wrong. If you did not trust your wife then what is your relationship based on? Your stalking actions were SO over the edge that not only has she left you, but at this point the other guy looks better in her eyes than you do. If she won't give up this relationship then there is MUCH MORE wrong with your relationship than the fact that she communicates with this guy . . . the whole reason she does communicates with him is because something is missing in her life and she is trying to fill it with his attention.

  • Lisa
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    Ive had threatening texts to honey so Iknow how you feel, the police can trace it, although PC's do need a senior authority to do these checks. mine came from a site called cbf mobile, who have a function where they will trace back abusive messages. My provider was useless too, they say they can only monitor outgoing texts. Do you have an incling as to who it is? you will need as much evidence as you can, log everything that happens in a notebook, keep the texts and keep pushing the police on a harrassment charge - it carries a five year prison sentance!!

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  • 8 years ago

    My friend,it seems she is too strong for you.Get a divorce immediately,and move on......your kids will remain yours.

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    If there is no proof that this happened, then deny it. Your word against his.

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