Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Society & CultureLanguages · 8 years ago

How to fix my paragraph transitions?

Here is my 2nd body paragraph to me 3rd:

Aside from the characters’ similarity, the boss seems delusional and mentally addled while Juliet is logical and clear-minded. It appears that the death of his son is easily forgotten by the boss. This is because even though the story illustrates the boss’ feeling of grief after he hears the news of his son’s death and that he feels “life itself had come to have no other meaning”, it is clearly shown that this is not the case. Without being reminded of his son, the boss is able to enjoy his luxury and spend time admiring them, which happens to be the beginning of the story. Therefore it is possible that the boss in reality becomes unaware of his son’s death promptly even though his mind thinks otherwise. Another indication is that as the story progresses, he indeed slowly forgets about his son’s death as it states in the end of the story in which he “fell to wondering what it was he had been thinking about before”. This illustrates that the boss is delusional and is completely lacking in self-awareness. Unlike the boss, Juliet’s mind is alert and functions rationally for the reason that her memory of her childhood event becomes clearer as the story progresses in an ordinary and logical way. It is certain that in the beginning of the story, Juliet has no memory of the incident though she only recalls the word “rake”. As the story persists, Juliet receives a letter with her name spelt “Juliette”, which sparks up more of her memory. Near the end of the story, she finally retains information clearly of her bullying experience from the past. This signifies that Juliet is more clear-minded compared to the boss, who seems more delusional and mentally disoriented.

Finally, the boss falls into self-pity in behalf of his unwillingness to accept the reality while Juliet is able to acknowledge the truth and betters herself because of it.

You don't have to read all of it but my teacher said my transition is very weak. SO please help me fix the ending sentence of my 2nd body paragraph and the beginning of my 3rd body paragraph so the transition is better. thanks!

Also if you don't mind, please edit my grammar and spelling because that is my weak area too. thanks

1 Answer

Relevance
  • 8 years ago
    Best Answer

    Aside from the characters’ similarity, the boss seems delusional and mentally addled while Juliet is logical and clear-minded. It appears that the death of (insert name here) son is easily forgotten by the boss. This is because even though the story illustrates the boss’ feeling of grief after he hears the news of his son (insert son’s name here) death and that he feels “life itself had come to have no other meaning”, it is clearly shown that this is not the case. Without being reminded of his son, the boss is able to enjoy his luxury and spend time admiring them, which happens to be the exposition of the story. Therefore it is possible that the boss in reality becomes unaware of his son’s death promptly even though his mind thinks otherwise. Another indication is that as the story progresses, he indeed slowly forgets about his son’s death as it states in the conclusion of the story in which he “fell to wondering what it was he had been thinking about before”. (Insert author’s name here) illustrates that the boss is delusional and is completely lacking in self-awareness. Unlike the boss, Juliet’s mind is alert and functions rationally for the reason that her memory of her childhood event becomes clearer as the novel/book progresses in an ordinary and logical way. It is certain that in the beginning of the story, Juliet has no memory of the incident though she only recalls the word “rake”. As the story continues Juliet receives a letter with her name spelt “Juliette”, which triggers more of her memory. Near the end of the story, she finally retains information clearly of her bullying experience from the past. This signifies that Juliet is more aware compared to the boss, who seems more delusional and mentally disoriented.

    Finally, the boss falls into self-pity in behalf of his unwillingness to accept the reality while Juliet is able to acknowledge the truth and betters herself because of it.

    Source(s): I think this flows better. Don't forget to indent!!
Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.