I feel like everything's crashing down..?
My dad's been dead for 7 months now but I still can't get over it, whenever people talk about him up getting rly fussy. I hate this I can't take it honestly, but I don't want to contiuously use it as an excuse idk what to do though. I feel that I can't rly talk to my mom about much I can't rly talk to my brother I rly wanna work hard so I can do well in school. I hate having this rly big gap and I know I'm gonna have to live with it forever but it rly hurts whenever I bring him up I want to cry becausae he was the best person in the world to me. My brother just told me I was trying to be like him act like him sure loads of people have told me I look like my dad alot way more than I look like my momy. I have a problem with explaining myself as well my mom wanted me to explain myself today but I had problems with explaining myself and said all the wrong things then I ended up crying. I want to stay focus God willingly and do well, I feel like I'm slowly crumbling to pieces especially when I think about my dad. How can I cope? How can I make myself emotionally stronger? How can I gain confidence? How can I learn to say THE RIGHT things not the wrong things?
- Anonymous9 years agoFavorite Answer
First, I am sorry for your loss.
I read your question and you sound really smart. You are right and it's okay saying that your dad died and you still aren't over it. You will find that there is a cycle of events that people go through as they are grieving. There is no set time limit, I am sorry to say, but crying and feeling emotional is all a very healthy reaction to it. Cry, scream, and throw your pillow if it allows you to get those feelings out. You love and loved your dad and by this he did the right thing as a dad to make you feel this way in the time he was in your life. We do not ever know how long we get to be with the people we love, that's why it is so important to be open with your feelings and tell and show people how you feel. It is okay to feel happy one day and sad the next. It is okay to wish he was with you during these times...who knows maybe he is right next to you all the time? kisses you while your sleep. Your dad would always want the best for you and would never want you to suffer, but as humans with emotions it is the balance of being given the opportunity to feel love, we sometimes have to feel the loss of it.
Take time to allow yourself to cry, you don't have to be a strong soldier, even soldiers cry. Start a journal and right your feelings, seek out people at school who's parents are gone or very sick. You will see that your not strange or different in your feelings. Love makes us cry sometimes and it's okay. Your mom must be sad and scared that she has to hold the family up and together. She doesn't know how to get through this either, there are no instructions. Just make sure you tell her you love her or write her a note if you can't say it. But over time learn to say it. Once you say it once it gets easier.
Lastly, there are no right or wrong things to say, it is how you feel at the moment. Each of you are at different stages of the process and feeling very emotional so just keep that in mind. You will have good and bad days ....but you will start to have better days as time passes. Be the girl your dad raised, and help take care of his wife and son when you can. But when you don't feel strong ask your mom for a hug or a day together.
I hope that helps you...again have yourself a good cry then wipe you eyes and go forward and remember you dad loves you forever and always and you love your dad and there is nothing that will ever change that.