lovechild asked in Arts & HumanitiesPoetry · 8 years ago

How would you do the line breaks/stanzas for this poem?

Reflections in a thousand mirror shards lying on the floor

a glimpse of red splattered here and there to make it more beautiful.

A jagged edge within the structure, left sharp-side up,

and that will probably need sutures. Friction against reality is

setting suns. I will tell you that I have come to embrace the pain

You will too before your life is done, or you will be swallowed

by the gaping maw of apathy. My sworn enemy. My jagged edge

is comforting, and reflecting back from shards of imagined me.

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  • 8 years ago
    Best Answer

    Reflections

    in a thousand mirror shards

    lying on the floor

    a glimpse of red

    splattered here and there

    to make it more beautiful.

    A jagged edge

    within the structure,

    left sharp-side up,

    and that will probably

    need sutures.

    Friction against reality

    is setting suns.

    I will tell you

    that I have come

    to embrace the pain

    You will too

    before your life is done,

    or you will be swallowed

    by the gaping maw of apathy.

    My sworn enemy.

    My jagged edge

    is comforting,

    and reflecting back from shards

    of imagined

    me.

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    it is hard for me to say, but i read it such:

    Reflections in a thousand mirror shards

    lying on the floor

    a glimpse of red splattered here and there

    make it more beautiful

    a jagged edge within the structure

    left side sharp up

    that will probably need sutures

    Friction against reality

    is setting suns

    I will tell you I have come

    to embrace the pain

    you will too before your life is done

    or you will be swallowed

    by the gaping maw of apathy,

    my sworn enemy.

    My jagged edge

    is comforting and reflecting

    back from shards of imagined me.

    this is the way i said it. powerful piece LC.

  • 8 years ago

    Reflections

    in a thousand mirror shards

    lying on the floor

    a glimpse of red

    splattered here and there

    to make it more beautiful.

    A jagged edge within the structure,

    left sharp-side up,

    (and that will probably need sutures.)

    Friction against reality

    is setting suns.

    I will tell you that I

    have come to embrace the pain

    You will too before your life is done,

    ol be swallowed by the gaping maw of apathy.

    My sworn enemy.

    My jagged edge

    comforting, and reflecting

    back from shards of imagined me.

  • HD
    Lv 7
    8 years ago

    Reflections in a thousand mirror shards

    lying on the floor.

    A glimpse of red,

    splattered here and there to

    make it more beautiful.

    A jagged edge within the structure, left

    sharp side up will probably need sutures.

    friction against reality is setting suns.

    I will tell you I have come to embrace the pain.

    You will too before you life is done or

    you will be swallowed

    by the gaping maw

    of apathy.

    My sworn enemy.

    My jagged edge,

    comforting, reflecting back

    from shards of imagined me.

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  • Thomas
    Lv 7
    8 years ago

    Reflections

    in a thousand mirror shards lying on the floor

    a glimpse of red

    splattered here and there to make it more beautiful.

    A jagged edge withing the structure,

    left sharp-side up, and that will probably need sutures.

    Friction

    against reality is setting suns.

    I will tell you thank I have come to embrace the pain

    You will too before your life is done,

    or you will be swallowed by the gaping maw of apathy.

    My sworn enemy

    My Jagged edge

    is comforting, and reflecting back from shards

    of imagined me.

  • 8 years ago

    Mornin Sis, my line breaks are often a bit off the norm but I see this in this way

    Reflections

    in a thousand mirror shards

    lying on the floor

    a glimpse of red

    splattered here and there

    make it more beautiful ( I probly woulda not used "to)

    a jagged edge within the structure

    left side

    sharp up

    that will probably need sutures ( sorry I woulda probly not used "and" or maybe even "that")

    Friction against reality is

    setting suns

    I will tell you I have come

    to embrace the pain

    you will too before your life is done

    or you will be swallowed

    by the gaping maw of apathy,

    my sworn enemy.

    My jagged edge

    is comforting and reflecting

    back from shards

    of imagined me.

    Just sayin, those were the breaks where I paused. Others will see it differently probly.

  • Iggy
    Lv 7
    8 years ago

    I don't know if I can do this justice.

    The following are points where I pause when reading this (these might help)

    - "shards" - L1

    - "floor" - L1

    - "there" - L2

    - beautiful" - L2

    - "up: - L3

    - "sutures" - L4

    - "suns" - L5

    - "come" - L5

    - "done" - L6

    - "apathy" - L7

    - "comforting" - L8

    - "back" - L8.

    It feels a bit pretentious me telling you to break this up though.

  • 8 years ago

    I monkey'd with it for a while and didn't make any significant progress. Interesting write, nice imagery-

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    Take them to your vomitorium

    it will all be clear to you there.

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