HELP I think I still have feelings for my ex 3 years later?
I broke up with my ex 3 yrs ago still dont fully understand why. Im in a new relationship now for 2 yrs and I love my bf now. But theres still feelings for my ex. My cousin and his little sister are good friends and so ive been told some things about him and that gives me an exuse just to look at his fb when I dont have him added and I even found his cell # and texted him asking about his parents spliting up cause I heard about it and used that as an excuse to text him. Ive tried to let it go and move on but I can't. Its weird how the sex life with him was awesome but with my current bf it isnt. Partly cause I wasnt on the pill with my ex and so hormones weren't affecting me. I talked to a friend and they think I should go for coffee with him and see how it goes. I wonder if its meant to be. I don't wanna hurt anyone. I cant let go.Thanks for reading if u did.
- Anonymous8 years agoFavorite Answer
You really need to examine your conscience to determine whether you should still be with your current boyfriend. Or whether you should be dating anyone at all until you are over your ex. You are not fully emotionally available to your current boyfriend even though you assert that you "love" him because part of you is dedicated to retaining feelings for your ex. You and your ex broke up for a reason, and it is highly unlikely that you two will get back together again, and less likely that such a get together will result in a healthy long term relationship. Either he dumped you for some stupid reason that you don't fully understand because he never explained it to you properly (ie: he is a jerk), or you dumped him for some reason you don't fully understand (ie: you are the jerk and he's not going to take you back after that unless you apologise profusely and even then it probably won't happen). You should move on from your ex, and the only way to do so is to remove him for your life for a while - looking at his fb profile, thinking about him, etc, is not going to help you move on. And you should either fully commit to your present boyfriend, or stop wasting his time. And if you dump your present bf, don't date anyone else - just have casual flings, otherwise you are going to do a lot of damage to a lot of other poor sods.
- 8 years ago
You need to let go! You can't see how wonderful your boyfriend is because you want what you can't have. There WAS a reason you broke up with your ex. You never remember the bad things which can make it hard not to go back.
Look at what you have- an amazing guy for two years who you love and is good to you. Respect him and stop pining over what never could be. If you keep after your ex, you'll end up losing them both. It's not worth it.
- Anonymous4 years ago
If you keep breaking up then you shouldn't get back together, because it will likely end again.
Read here https://tr.im/zNG6L
Whether or not you should really depends on the reasons that you two keep breaking up. But I really doubt he has changed in such a short period of time. You're the girl, and while usually I recommend girls do the asking out instead of just waiting, in the case I think even if you do wind up getting back together with him, you shouldn't put forth any effort in making it happen. Act coy. Maybe go out with someone else for a bit, not steady, but go on a few dates with or something. Just don't make yourself TOO available to him.
If you make it obvious you want him back then he is going to think he can treat you however he wants and you will always be there for him, and that will just lead to more break ups in the future. Basically, I think he will break up with you whenever he wants another girl, and when that doesn't work out, in the interest of not feeling lonely, he will come back to you until he meets someone else. Again, and again. Thats assuming the past break ups were in any way his doing. If it was always your decision, then I have to wonder what he did to make you break up with him, or was it possibly you who left him for someone else?
- 4 years ago
Want to know how to get your ex back? Change yourself. Don't worry about changing other people, worry about changing yourself. Go to https://tr.im/WQ7MW
Once you do that then you can start to worry about getting back together with your ex, other wise you will find that you are fighting about all the same things and getting no where. Do what it takes and I promise things will work out in your favor.
The funny thing is I came to the realization that I had to change a little too late. After I was kicked out and after I was about to lose the only things that truly mattered to me - her love. A funny thing happens when we truly love someone and lose them. We do what ever it takes to get them back. For me I had to drop bad habits that had caused not only our relationship to sour but practically every other relationship I had had in the past. Not only with women, but with friends, co-workers, family, you name it.
Which is why I say to you as my ex at the time said to me, the only thing you can do is change yourself. Work on yourself and improve on the person that you already are. Drop the negative things in your life that don't belong there and you will see all of your relationships start to take off to new heights.