My fiancé doesn't appreciate how hard I work!!!?!?

We have a 13 month old child. I am in full time university, but our son Caelan is only in part time daycare. This means I literally I am either in class, or working on homework, or taking care of him AT ALL TIMES. And I am fine with it, I am used to working hard. I cook MWF, I do all mine and Caelan's laundry (I did my fiancé's but he would throw clean clothes in it so I stopped). I vacuum everyday because our dining room is made of carpet, I also am in charge of cleaning the kitchen and living room. The only thing my fiancé does constantly is the dishes. He offered to do all the dishes. I am Caelan's primary care-giver I do most baths, bedtimes, all appointment bookings, clothes buying, lunch packing etc. etc. When I have projects due the next day my fiancé will pick up some slack with helping with Caelan but he WHINES AND WHINES about it. He says things implying that he works hard and I just slack off. Why can't he see that I work hard?? I even have a high GPA at school.. Everyone I tell that I am in full time university and a mom says they're amazed at how hard I work. Why can't he see it? Or am I not doing enough?


He also hinted that I should be giving him BJs all the time because he works so hard and I apparently don't..I still give him sex a lot but not BJs and that's mainly because he is uncircumcised and often doesn't keep his d*ck that clean..sry if tmi

Update 2:

yes he works full time, short haul trucking, so it's somewhat of a labour job

7 Answers

  • 9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    He's a jerk who doesn't get it.

    Ask him to have full responsiblity of HIS child for a week. Remind him of all the million things he does. If at the end of it, he is able to go without complaining, you will do something special/nice for him. If he does complain, he needs to admit that he needs to help out more and do so.

    Try to make this fun, but if you can't, say it's conditional on the two of you getting married. After all, if he can't pull his weight in this family now, do you really think he's going to pick it up in a year? 10 years? no, he will act the same way.

    When it comes to bj's, those are not a given, just like him giving you oral is not a given. And you certainly shouldn't give it to him if he can't be bothered to keep himself clean. EWW. I don't normally encourage overly-femine power, but this guy needs it badly.

    EDIT: Okay, so he does work his butt off as well. Make it a two-way street in terms of finding relief. Try offering some fun kinky stuff for when he relaxes (like giving him a bubble bath with a massage), and hopefully he'll want to return the favor. If he doesn't, bring it up to him, and if he complains about it, it might be a good time to have a serious talk.

    Lv 7
    9 years ago

    Tell Mr Dirty Boy you don't appreciate his filth in your mouth.That is toatally disgusting that he thinks you should give him BJ's when he is too lazy to keep himslef clean.

    You do work really hard and the only way to prove it to him is to stop.Simply let 3 days go by without doing anything but play with your baby and care for him.When your house start looking like a pig sty and he complains just mention that now he may actually see what you do every day. I would have to wonder if he is marriage material.Think twice.he sound selfish.he should want to help care for and bathe his own son.That is part of the bonding process.I certainly hope your son is circumsized because his daddy won't be teaching him about personal hygene.

    Keep that thing out of your mouth, tell him to jerk off in the shower.

  • 9 years ago

    Here's a quick question:

    Does he work full time? Just asking because you said nothing about either of you having paying jobs. You're working very hard, and it's easy for things to get out of balance. You have to discuss it calmly. Give him a chance to explain why he thinks he's working hard (er) and you can explain why you feel like you're pulling more of your weight. My bf and I have lived together for 3 years. I love working hard constantly, but occasionally I get buried. As soon as I discuss it with my bf, though, he helps me out. The communication is really important with issues like this.

  • 9 years ago

    You're a mother. It's your job. You decided to have a baby while still attending school. He works full time like you said and helps with your son. thats his job.

    tell him if he wants one that its not coming anywhere near your mouth until he scrubs it clean. problem solved.

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • No you are doing more than enough Ali, don't think for one second that you're not. Your fiance should not only be your biggest supporter but if anything HE should be doing more!

  • Nyxx
    Lv 4
    9 years ago

    Marrying the guy won't change him into the superhero you see in your dreams.

  • 9 years ago

    He sounds like a ungrateful little bugger!!!

    personally i wouldn't put up with it!!! i would make him pull his weight or do one!!!

    he is treating you like your his mother and acting like a small child!!!

    He might work full time, but you study full time and look after your baby...

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.