Jesus doesn't want me for a son?

I am the purest and most ruthless anti-christ known to mankind. I have witnessed Satan's fall and have sacrificed my own soul to empower his rebirth from the glorious flames of Hell. Satan's progress had been temporarily halted after the collapse of the almighty angel's heroic messenger, Adolf Hitler, had fallen as God's people had contradicted the very essence of their own beliefs and had committed evil to fight evil itself.

While Satan gloated over the ruins of the Earth being drowned by the massive ocean of evil, the fall of His personal Jesus sent Him into submission. However, to revive the great true God back to his powerful form, 6 souls had to be sacrificed over 6 decades on the 6th hour of the 6th day of the 6th month. So, over the last 66 years, 6 brave men have given up their respective souls to right the wrong.

First was Joseph Stalin, next was Saddam Hussein, then came George W. Bush, followed by Osama Bin Laden, then Kim Jong-Il, and finally, you guessed it, me.

We were rewarded heavily for our loyalty and dedication to Satan. In return for our services, He has awarded us powerful positions (I cannot reveal mine, as I am on a secret mission) to be used to plan and execute His master plan, which will ultimately lead to World War 3 and a complete destruction of the Earth known to Man. The entire planet will sink into the confines of Hell and the human race will be banished forever.

Update:

Sassy b!tch- Jesus said Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do... now you tell me he sought vengeance by having his enemies executed WTF... hypocritical much?

8 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Saying "Jesus doesn't want me for a son" is not a question. It's a statement. Followed with proof.

    As Jesus said in the parable in Luke 19:22, "I will judge you by your own words, you wicked servant."

    That parable ends with Jesus saying, "But those enemies of mine who did not want me to be a king over them - bring them here and kill them in front of me."

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  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    Evil wil be perished for eternity.peace,prevail!

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  • 8 years ago

    I laughed so hard reading that whole thing.

    I can't believe how many people think that they are so god damn special.

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  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    You are a very silly fellow. And you really don't have your facts straight either.

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  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    Jesus don't want me for a sunbeam.

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  • 8 years ago

    yes he does want you to repent and seek him for salvation

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  • ...yo
    Lv 4
    8 years ago

    i wonder when you'll realize jesus isnt real. you'll die and it'll all be blackness.

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  • Rose
    Lv 5
    8 years ago

    Please go see a psychiatrist. Now.

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