I feel like i made a terrible mistake to break up with ex.- help!?
I broke up with my ex today (we had been dating for a year and living with one another for 6 months)
I moved back home with my folks, but broke down in tears after moving out. I miss him!
He didn't know i moved out (he was at work) and when he discovered it all he wrote on facebook was "well, it appears I am single yet again."
I broke up with him because recently I had been having doubts on the relationship (he puts me down all the time, seems a little controlling, says i'm lazy, he's a mommas boy....but I'm not walk through the park either!)
All night, I have been feeling like I made a terrible mistake. I miss him dearly and I miss living in our home with him. I feel lonely because I have no other friends, and I just don't know what to do..
Please help me...
neither of us have talked to each other since the break up.
Should I write him and tell him how I feel?
- 8 years agoFavorite Answer
Well, you tell us he puts you down all the time, seems controlling, calls you lazy, you call him a momma's boy. You feel lonely because you have no other friends. Hmm.
If you go back, he'll continue to put you down all the time, he'll continue to be controlling (even more after this), will still be a momma's boy, and he'll continue to make sure you have no friends.
Controllers follow a very predictable, well studied and clearly understood pattern. It's like they all read the same textbook on the subject. They start by calling you names to shred your dignity and self confidence, they yell at you to destroy your self esteem, they isolate you physically so you won't have other voices in your ears to tell you what a jerk he's being. As your misery mounts, and you rebel more and more against his treatment of you, his yelling escalates to shoving, then to hitting, then to hitting with weapons and choking, threatening your life. Read any book on the subject -- it's not hard to fine one, plenty on the net about it.
The reason an abuser becomes and remains an abuser is because he thinks if you knew who he really is, you would hate him -- after all, he hates himself. He thinks if you leave, he may never find another victim --- after all, at core he has no self esteem, no sense of self worth.
If you get some counseling instead of going back to him, your life will be much richer and rewarding. It may take you a year or so to recover your sense of self worth, even with a professional to guide you -- you have been emotionally battered for a year and a half. Nothing, nothing good can come out of letting this wounded person attack you again.Source(s): Read all about it.
- 8 years ago
Lookit, if you wasn't feeling the relationship, you did right by ending it. You didn't exactly handle it maturely as you just snuck out while he was gone.
If it is just because you are lonely right now 'I have no other friends' leave him alone. How would you feel if he broke up with you the same way as you did him? Coming home after working all day to find you have been left with no warning?
Don't string him along because you think you feel regret right now.
Know what is truly in your heart if and before you contact him.
- DaiLv 68 years ago
If you only feel like that at night then it's normal and that does not mean you want to be with him or should go back. Also, you haven't listed any good qualities about him so it's hard to judge but what exactly do you miss? If you don't feel like you miss him during the day, then you'll get over it, you're just lonely.
- yutzyLv 44 years ago
i'm so sorry that you're managing this. the sentiments, of your husband and yours "conceivable" divorce, the undeniable truth that your lover moved on and did not wait on you, the undeniable truth that you're so in love with this guy. I in basic terms have 2 questions, are you 100% particular deep down he's in love with you nevertheless? Are you particular you aren't any more having those emotions because of each and every little thing going on on your realationship which includes your husband? the in basic terms reason I ask is because a touch over 2 years in the past now, I almost had an affair on my husband with yet another guy who replaced into each and every little thing my husband wasn't. We had met a on-line casino, he made me sense like it replaced into ok, to gamble, that i replaced into mind-blowing, that my job replaced into equivalent to his. My husband did no one of those element, to him I in basic terms went to artwork and that i did not make as a lot as he did in per week so as that replaced into undesirable to him, yet i might want to upward thrust up and pass. In 8 months I not in any respect ignored an afternoon at artwork. a chum of my husbands talked about me one evening in a on-line casino with this different guy instructed my husband, and that i instructed him we had not in any respect performed something yet flirt because as a lot as that aspect it really is all that had happend. i recognize the position you're, i recognize were you're going, your existence needs to get straited out first earlier you attempt to even pass on your ex, or the different realationship. sturdy success honey and may want to God bless you!
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- 8 years ago
O hunny i have been there before in if you left then he on facebook saying he single then it dounds like he is happy about it but your misake was letting him stay in you all home because he giong to do what ever his heart desires bow good luck baby
- judeLv 78 years ago
everyone has doubts when they break up with someone they were with, i would continue going forward with life and not look back. maybe find some friends but don't go back to that.
- 8 years ago
Need spoon pics to evaluate this situation
- 8 years ago
You don't know what to do?
You can get over it.
Or get back with him.
Nothing else you can do is there now..
- Anonymous8 years ago
nope. move on. life is too short to regret what u did. u have to let him go.