I am a Buddhist. Fiancee's family is catholic. Parents want a priest?

OK. I have been a Buddhist for a long time now. My fiancee is not especially devout; e.g. doesn't go to church but her parents are and do. They have known I am a Buddhist since very early in our relationship and I get along wonderfully with them.

In doing a bit of research, it would seem that I am in a bit of a sticky wicket. It would be very meaningful for her family for us to be married in the Catholic church. I am not now nor will I ever be Catholic. If a priest asks me: "Do you believe in God the Father almighty, maker of heaven and earth, and in his only son Jesus our Lord?" my answer is "No." I don't say that beligerantly or with the intent to offend; I simply don't and I never will.

In addition, we had no intention of being married in a church at all (we're planning on a boat). As I understand Catholic tradition (which is poorly I might add), the ceremony must be performed by a priest inside an actual church.

While I do have a few ideas and compromises in mind, I'm interested in the ideas I CAN'T think of. There have to be a few. Is an outdoor ceremony completely out? If we HAVE to pick a church, how likely am I to find a priest that will even perform the ceremony? Any other ideas or compromises? We have considered eloping more than once but her mom would be crushed and I just love her family and I want to respect their traditions and feelings as much as I can while maintaining my own integrity.

17 Answers

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Screw religion. Do whatever the hell you guys want.

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    1. warning, catholic priest lie about what they will say during your marriage ceremony or how long they intend to make it. ... What I mean is they put a lot of religion in the ceremony that has no business being there, including pressure on you to become catholic and/or bring your children up catholic. They'll make your wife promise with a special you go to hell if you break your promise type of vow....

    2. you are in trouble here, and what you choose depends on what you think you can lie about without feeling bad....

    I'd put off the wedding, but that's just me. I married a catholic once, and we had a ceremony in a Universal Church of Christ with no problems and a short sweet service. I never would have stood in front of a catholic or any conservative priest and didn't make it through the first meeting with a few of them when we were researching......

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    Ask your fiancee how important it is to her to have a traditional Catholic wedding. Simply state that her parents are entitled to their opinion, but it is her personal feelings that matter to you. If she wants a traditional Catholic wedding; you have your answer. If she is willing to elope or be married on a boat (sounded like Dr Seuss for a moment), then find a way to do it. When you and your fiancee are unified on your wishes, explain how you both feel to her parents. If you both don't want a traditional Catholic wedding, it really doesn't matter what her parents want for you. Having A wedding is far better for her parents than not attending a wedding at all (eloping).

    Good luck and congratulations!

  • 8 years ago

    Random Guy "Does it really matter?"

    Probably, that's why the question was asked after all..

    To answer the question, would you be comfortable just playing along (not saying you should lie and claim to believe in Jesus) and just having the ceremony in a church? I'm assuming the bride's parents are paying for the wedding...if not, you might have more leeway.

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  • 8 years ago

    The only thing that you have to agree to in a Catholic Christian church wedding is to raise the children as Catholic Christians. You do not have to convert, you do not have to say you believe in God. Go and speak with her priest for all the details.

    Catholic Christian †

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    Do the ceremony twice. Your choice which one is first, eh. In most parts of the world the church ceremony is not valid and a civil procedure must take place. The US is an exception more than the rule.

  • 8 years ago

    Basically find a preist that will be willing to marry you, and then the rest will fall together. I was raised Christian, but know very little about Catholics. Is it an option to elope and have a religious ceremony after?

    p.s. I think it's great that you're doing this for the family!

    Source(s): Buddhist
  • jetta
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    you have no longer been advised the entire, authentic tale approximately this new variety of Christianity you have embraced. they have not advised you what that is *quite* choose for to be in a church that believes grace is a one-time journey. Please examine what I could say and reassess your determination. The doctrine of "accepting Jesus as your Lord and Savior" incorporates buried interior it a intense flaw: The Gospel isn't preached to people who're already Christians! In those church homes, forgiveness of sins is preached to nonchristians basically. as quickly as you have grow to be a Christian, all you will get in those church homes is coaching approximately a thank you to stay a godly existence. on a similar time as they insist which you're already forgiven, additionally they'll coach that "actual" Christians do no longer sin anymore, a minimum of no longer heavily; yet you will at last (and painfully) come across that that's a lie. So what happens while your sin keeps? (And it *will* proceed.) In those church homes you will in no way pay attention those comforting and effective words, "I absolve you of your sins." quite, they'll refer you decrease back to the regulation, which you already know won't be able to shop you considering the fact which you're already a sinner. mockingly, "born-returned Christianity" is in some procedures greater works-oriented than Catholicism. a minimum of in Catholicism, Reconciliation is practiced, and in it the Gospel is spoken and your sins are forgiven. without the promise of forgiveness discovered interior the words of absolution, you would be left empty, on my own, and worrying of your guy or woman sins. have faith me: I grew up in this atmosphere, and that's *no longer* a effective place to be.

  • Dave D
    Lv 7
    8 years ago

    There is no issue with a non-Catholic marrying a Catholic in a Catholic Church. The only prerequisite is that you raise any children as Catholics.

  • 8 years ago

    I don't think you have to be IN a church but you can get married outdoors but a priest has to be present of course. Hmmm, but honestly it's you and your fiancee's wedding so you two should compromise and not her parents tho :/ ... Ya that's kind of hard. Best wishes.

  • Athena
    Lv 7
    8 years ago

    Um, I am confused.

    You knew this was going to be a problem when you first talked about marriage.

    The two of you decided how your different faiths would be addressed with all the things you are going to go through in your married life. You talked about who would marry you, and how your children would be raised.

    I mean, you DID do that, right?

    This is just the beginning kid.

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