Jen asked in Social SciencePsychology · 8 years ago

Does being attracted to older men really mean I have daddy issues?

I mean, is that the only reason why some women would prefer older men? Why the negative label or meaning associated with this scenario?

I am 23 and have always been attracted to men who are mature, full of wisdom and life experience. I like intelligence and depth and those are the traits I seek in a partner. The men that turn me on are not always older than me, although 90% of the time they are. But the other thing is I tend to be drawn to older men in movies or tv and I like a lot if older musicians. For instance, I am really attracted to Eric Clapton and Frank Sinatra. I like classic movies and actors like Cary Grant and Gregory Peck. In my real life, however, I wouldn't even have the guts to approach an older man, let alone have a relationship with one.

Mentally, I am beyond my years, but emotionally I am a little unstable and still have a lot to learn. I have a lot of resentment towards my father and a lot of things bother me about him that I sometimes can and sometimes can't explain. He cares for me and for the most part he's done his job as man of the house but I feel like he has not fulfilled all my needs. he's been very critical of me, I feel like has been controlling and overprotective of me growing up, and I don't feel like he values my opinion enough.

I don't think i'm looking for a sugar daddy or someone to treat me like a little girl because in fact I want the opposite; I already feel like a little girl and I want to be made to feel like a woman because I believe i'm very mature in many ways (except, again, emotionally). I've never been able to fully relate to most girls my age, have always felt like a loner or outsider, so I don't see myself going for guys around my age unless the have the traits that I seek.

So is it just daddy issues? Could liking older men be attributed to other reasons?

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  • 8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Do I have a PhD in Psychology? Hell naw. But I can use the basics of life to help you at least a little bit.

    First off, I don't think you have daddy issues. I know plenty of women who like older men. I don't know why, they don't know why, and our mutual friends don't know why. Of these women I know, they have all kinds of relationships with their dads. Some of these women won't speak to their dads while some have great relationships with their dads. I really think the fact that these women I know like older men is mostly, if not completely, preference.

    I'm a 22 year old guy and I'm just like you - far more mature than most of my friends, but a little emotionally unstable on the side as well. I prefer older women. Not like 5 years older, but a year or two. It has a lot to do with the fact that most of the women I know that are my age or younger are extremely immature. We just don't click on the same mental level, we have different ambitions, I actually have a savings account in which I actually save money in, I don't rely on my parents for anything at all, etc. I'm guessing you're somewhat in the same boat as me, right? Most guys our age don't really appeal to you personality-wise?

    You prefer older men because they're more mature, right? Why? Because you're more mature than most your age, right? You prefer older men because you click with them on that maturity level. It's not because you have daddy issues. At least I don't think so.

    By the way, from the sounds of it, I think your dad is probably a bit overprotective of you like you said, but think about it - why do parents become overprotective of their kids? How would your dad react if he got a call from the cops telling him that they found your dead body in a ditch? I think he's overprotective because he just cares for you that much more. He's just looking out for your best interest. I know it can be frustrating and it can make you feel inadequate, but I promise he does it out of love. It's a parent thing - even when you're 50 years old, you will always be a little girl in mom and dad's eyes. But at the end of the day, you're 23. You're an adult and he needs to treat you like one. This is where you gotta go talk to him and demand respect. Until you do that, he's gonna keep being overprotective/seem to belittle your opinions.

    Hope I helped, sister.

    Source(s): US Army combat veteran
  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    Well, it depends on how much older the guys are. If the guys are old enough to be your dad that might be an issue, not necessarily a "daddy issue." But maybe you just like older guys because you can relate to them more and their more mature. They know what they want, and you feel secure with them.

  • 6 years ago

    Have you been screwing you're Dad!? Gee, I hope not. Has nothing to do with daddy issues. It's you're horomones attracts to whatever comes to your mind and thoughts. It's normal thing that happens for a reason. Why do people fantasize other people!? That's a normal thing, something like that is something that comes to a mind and thought! We're animals. We hunt for what we see.

  • bill
    Lv 4
    8 years ago

    No find a person that makes feel great when you are with them. Age don't matter if you are over18? You have to have at least one thing that gives you joy inside your heart. Money is always a good thing to use to help make it happen. As long as it's together.

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  • 8 years ago

    if it suits your tastebuds so what enjoy.I like my men younger everytime.

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