I am so through with my life! Please help!?
I am 34 years old and it seems like my life isn't getting any better since the day I came into this world! It started with bad family history (parent's separation, abuse, etc...), horrible experiences growing up (especially while in high school), only for my adulthood to be at its absolute worse (string of bad relationships, rape, struggling to survive financially, hatred towards me, failed career...). And to top it all off, my husband wants a divorce after a year of marriage. He doesn't understand what I've went through my life and how I'm horribly depressed. He just ridicules me and calls me crazy. I have gone through enough in my life and the last thing I want is a divorce and the horrors of the single life. I have had enough of failure and I'm thinking of ending it all! I am out of options.
- 8 years ago
That single word means a lot.
I've gone through some bad stuff too. I wanted to end it all so many times. I cut, even today. I'm bullied, and it never gets better. Every move I make, I'm falling farther out of reality.
All of those things sound horrid together. But if you take them apart and look at them peice by peice, this is what I see and think.
1- bad family history- you're not alone with that. I swear, if you just ask a group of ten people, there is bound to be someone with the same past.
2- bad growing up- nobody has an easy time growing up. Stop blaming yourself for things that aren't exactly your choice
3- bad adult life- rape: there's nothing you can do. It happens to 1 out of 4 people. Struggling finacialy: don't worry. It'll get better. Just get an easy job at a bookstore or a quiet place with no stress. There, find a friend. You don't need everyone, but everyone needs someone. Failed career: you don't hate to go to school to do something you love. Pick an easy job to get started. Worry about everything when I comes. But for now, focus on the present, not the future.
4- divorce- he doesn't deserve someone as beautiful as you. You hear this a lot from all different people, saying to people with different problems. But this time, it's true. Like I said, find a friend. It only takes one. You don't have to love someone, just find someone to latch onto for the rest of your life.
I hope I changed your mind.
:) <3 please, for me, don't.
- 8 years ago
You, are a wonderful person. Really. It's not that you are bad, it's that the problems in life are simply TOO MUCH. You don't need this extra baggage. Heck, you weren't even given the say to be born. So you know what, you can stop holding it all in now. It's okay to not be okay, okay? The world and universe is here for you NOW for you to capture the beauties of. So if he wants a divorce, tell him that you don't just give up on life. You've gotten this far, some person can't ruin it all for you! You, are purposeful. These events that happened to you made you who you are today. So for that sake, do something that makes you lively, free, HAPPY, fulfilled and optimistic. There is always something to worry about, so why not smile because at least you have a working mind to analyze all of this for you! There is always an imperfect person. Thing is, with that imperfect person, life has beauties for you to discover that your flaws allowed you to miss the first time!
So, now you have a second chance. A second chance to really GRAB LIFE IN THE REAR and take hold of it! Grab a cup of water. Do it. I'll wait................................................................................................................................................................................... Okay, got it? Now, breathe out. Grab the glass of water, bring it to your mouth and take one good gulp. DON'T FORGET TO CLOSE YOUR EYES!!!!!! Did you do it? If you didn't here's a guilt trip until you do! Now, once you've done that, do it again and think of these questions:
Did you feel the water go down your esophagus?
Was it nice and liquified once it hit your tongue?
When did you last exercise and how AMAZING did it feel to drink something?
Now you know your insides are working fine. You tasted the water, go and take a warm shower! Pick up that book you have been thinking about reading- y'know, the one with all the raves! Even if this book is something you'd never imagine yourself reading! Go to bed, pray if you want, meditate, drink tea, and just, today will never come back so don't live in the future or the past.
- 8 years ago
Don't end it! Go to church and talk to a preacher, talk to family or friends anything! Life is great, sometimes you just need to put the past behind you. It sounds very hard what you went through but if we dwell in the past we will miss the future. The best thing you can do is start over. Move to a new state, get a new job, maybe a new look, get some hobbies, and find a new boyfriend. Obviously your husband doesnt think enough of you to help you through this.
- Anonymous8 years ago
I'm sorry that you are going through all of that! I can't even imagine how you must feel. After so much pain in your life, ending it all could seem to be the best thing but have to ever thought that your life could make a drastic turn around? Here's this article that's entitled "A Satisfying Life- Just A Fantasy" I think you would really be able to take a lot from it. If you would like more information like that you can visit the website: www.jw.orgSource(s): A Satisfying Life- Just A Fantasy
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- 8 years ago
Actually you have a great option. Divorce! you want to be abused forever by this jerk and feel like killing yourself or see what life has to offer just around the corner. you are a precious individual with much to teach the world. I have been there.
- Intense GamerLv 48 years ago
That's a tough one. I was a suicidal child until I inadvertantly made a promise not to ever try again. I realised the trick was to find something to live for. A goal in life that prevented suicide at any given moment. I'm in my 20s now and that thing is getting my book published. This could be the same for you, but you're out of options, so my traditional psychological trick won't work.
However, I am well versed in psych and am in med school, so possibly I can help. I have two suggestions. First. There's the absolute worst trick. Sit down and look at everything in your life. The divorce since its most recent, and turn it into the worst case possible. Then respond to it. Create logical solutions of how you would react and get out of it. Chances are, when things actually occur, it won't be so bad, and you're prepared for the worst, try this in conjunction with anything else. I know it might sound silly, but let's consider a metaphor that parallels what you're doing. In med school, I was talking to a buddy going for surgery, and we were discussing how he avoids being nervous. He told me, "you get nervous no matter what, its basic biology to have that response, the trick is tricking yourself to overcome those nerves. When you get nervous, think of it as a game, and turn nerves into excitement to succeed and win, and it goes away". Turn all your anxiety into subconscious power, because you're prepared for anything.
Secondly, id like you to disregard what has happened in the past. I know, I'm well aware of what I just said, and again how silly that sounds. Rape especially, is extremely difficult to get over, but its in the past and impossible to change. So is everything else that has happened in the past. Theres nothing to do but let it empower you, to move past it. So focus on the divorce and the current things. So, sure that's terrible, so is everything else, but why does that have to be your death sentance? Is there really so little to live for that this was the final straw? Dig deep woman. Values, morals, things you've always cared about that make you who you are. Life is just hard. There's no way to refute that. But this is the moment you give up? You've didn't give up during the abuse, or the rape, this divorce was it? I find that hard to believe. No offense.
Now, I'm going to try some different psychology as a means to inspire you. Don't take it personally, if you don't agree, this is my personal philosophy and thats it. I've adopted a theory about suicide to help myself. Bred from my girlfriend who I promised long ago that is never attempt again, that suicide was for quitters. Life is a game, and death is a reward of sleep, but a reward only because of how much you fight for it until old age. To give up early is cowardly because you're accepting a reward you haven't fought for. It's also cowardly because there are those you leave behind that you're abandoning. How are they to understand? You suffer, have suffered, are suffering, and suicide is displacing that suffering onto them. You're giving it up, its too hard, so you're having then carry your load. Cowardly. It's how I survive. Above else, I have my honor, and I am in no way a coward, like my father was (a tidbit of personal information for you).
I don't know you. I never will. But I know what its like to be in your position, so I'm asking you to suffer. People like us suffer for the honor it bestows. We are a special kind of person, stronger wiser and shining brighter because we have suffered more and longer than most people can even consider. We hold a power they never could, we can survive anything.
Stay with the fight. I'm not religious, I'm atheist, so I say this with no supersticial undertones, it will all one day be worth it. This leads to something, something good and powerful in life that's worth fighting for. Don't quit that fight.Source(s): Cheers love. Stay strong, dig deep, survive. I'm somewhat sorry I wrote you a novel only because I hope you'll read all of it, not because I didn't want to help.
- Monkey socksLv 58 years ago
Just think , it really can't get any worse. When you have reached the bottom there is nowhere to go but up. And I think it is safe to say you have reached that bottom and things will have to start looking up for you. And you want to still be here when they do , don't you :)
- Anonymous8 years ago
Don't COMINT suicide it is not an option people care never think other wise. If you believe in god like most pray to him and if u do it u will be in hell forever
- 8 years ago
DO NOT COMMIT SUICIDE. IT IS NOT AN OPTION. Go out and meet new people and move on with your life. Accept the bad things and welcome the new things.
- notyou311Lv 78 years ago
See a therapist and a marriage counselor.