What do you think of my poem?

so i have to write a poem for our poetry unit in english class, not too sure if all of it makes sense and sounds alright. So please just give me some useful suggestion, also your opinion and tell me if it is really terrible so i can write a new one. and if you had to mark from 1 to 10, what score it would be.

There was once a time, not too long ago,

When the earth was still green, when the flowers were still blooming

The cloudless blue sky was filled with the sweet morning chirps of birds,

The wind swaying the blossoming buds spurting out of the flourishing plants,

The clear, sunny day, the sky filled with the radiating golden rays of sunlight,

Lighting up the ocean, like a shimmering silver blanket of million shades of blue,

The blooming flowers shined its beauty in the wonderful daylight,

That was our earth, not too long ago.

The earth will become, not long in time,

Just a piece of cold barren land, where no plants shall grow,

The sweet melody of the birds will be missed,

And Cloudless, blue skies would only be seen in dreams,

And the sunshine shall not shine through the thick misty haze.

The babbling brooks, and soft ocean waves will no longer be here,

For it had dried up into the hard crackly ground.

And then, only then,

We will watch, as our grandchildren stare into the ugly grey sky,

Knowing that they will never see the beauty of this earth again,

We will regret destroying something so precious so easily.

There will not be another earth,

When the earth is gone, there is no turning back.

If we don’t do something now, we may never have the chance again.

5 Answers

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  • 8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Nice, a bit long though...and it has no rhyme :\ hehe i like rhyme. I'd give u a 7/10! Good job!

  • l
    Lv 7
    8 years ago

    It seems more like you're preaching than trying to create a piece of art.

    There's nothing wrong with putting your views into poetry, you can bring awareness to an issue, but honestly I just don't like stuff like this.

    You so have a gift for language though. If I was your teacher, I'd give you a ten. However, if you were selling a book on your poetry I would not buy it.

  • 8 years ago

    8/9 ! I really liked how you used a lot of descriptive words!! Great job !! :)

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    That was beautiful! 10 out of 10, hun!! :)

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  • 8 years ago

    What are the schools teaching kids now days?!@#

    Source(s): It's a good poem, I just blame public school for making kids think the world is doomed and we are all going to die...
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