Should I tell his wife?

About 3 years ago this guy started coming on to me, he'd offer to help me with anything I ever needed help with... he was so nice and we talked quite a bit. Well the day came when I did need his help and we had the best time together, just driving and talking and he stayed at my house for hours helping me. Then there was this hug and it felt great! He leaves and calls to apologize and I'm thinking "wow what a gentleman", he starts calling me late at night and texting me when he's at work. But a bunch of it is trash talk like... do you like having sex and this is what I wanna do to you. Anyway, it turns out he's MARRIED. Should I tell his wife about the calls and what he's doing when he tells her he's "helping" people out?


I guess I just wonder what good it would do? I hate him for how he's hurt me and of course y'all know there are more details than what I am willing to share online, but I just hate the fact that he is lying to her... at the same time I can see something like what he did with me destroying their marriage and there's a kid involved. He is well known in our community, so I figure eventually his cheating habits will kick him in the rear.

Update 2:

And yes given the nature of our business association, it really was 3 years and me asking him before I knew he was married and by then I was already emotionally into the guy. He doesn't wear a ring, claims it's because he almost lost his finger working on his ranch. He doesn't act married. He never once mentioned his wife, kept it totally about hunting, ranching, working, nothing personal ever. I honestly think if I hadn't asked, he would have never told me. Anyway, bottom line is I REFUSE to have sex with a married man and so I've quit having physical contact with him. The harder part is seperating myself emotionally because I had hoped for so long that he was single.

8 Answers

  • 8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    I've been in your shoes. I had a relationship with a women whom I thought was divorced but it turned out he just worked nights. You have to have complete separation from him. It hurts and it sux but it's the only way. It won't feel better until you meet the right person and then none of your past mistakes will matter. I can honestly say, for my part, I never touched her again. And I wanted to. I felt so bad I took my pastor out to lunch and confessed the whole thing to him. It's hard to know who to trust, especially when the mother of your baby decides she can't handle it and runs off.

    Source(s): Life's experiences.
  • 4 years ago

    Man, i can see why he didnt offer you a suitable identify and quantity. You knew he was once married proper? You additionally knew he would no longer go away his wife and loved ones for you proper? So, what you could have said is that your mad given that he gave you a fake identify and job. Additionally your mad given that you desired sex to make you suppose better after grandmother died? Subsequent, your mad at him given that he gave you cash to maintain your mouth shut? That $2,000 dollars would be seen as blackmail dont you? Do you feel for one minute that your guy is silly? Do you believe that him being an attorney that he doesnt have connections to unsavory humans? Do you suppose that he is going to help you harm his fame in his regulation practice as good as wreck his household lifestyles and insult him before his son? Does this sound like a person who is right of their head? Buddy, you are asking to get harm. Dont let your jealousy and fantasy get the first-rate of you right here. If you happen to trap this man and drive him into a nook that's going to cost him his job his loved ones and perhaps half of the whole lot he owns since of you, well you had better get some health insurance speedy. And at the same time you're at it get some existence coverage as good. Dont be silly. Take the cash, as long as the numbers should not in a row, and use it for a mad vacation far from that city as speedy as which you could. Go to fire Island or to the Keys or someplace some distance away.

  • 8 years ago

    Whatever the case, you need to distance yourself from him emotionally so you can say you weren't a part of it. If you were a part of it, distance yourself anyway so that you could say you were into it for a while, but realized you were wrong and backed out. When I thought my husband's ex-girlfriend was coming onto him I sent her a message that said she was the primary cause of trouble in my marriage. The accusation was enough to get her to back off. I automatically cut ties with any woman I sensed wanted an inappropriate emotional relationship with my husband. Remove yourself from the situation mentally and emotionally.

  • 8 years ago

    Well telling his wife would be the right thing to do, however, a lot of females end up getting mad at the person telling them something like that because they feel that you are trying to mess up what they have and then they just think that you are jealous. Soo with that being said....I would tell her and have the proof too so she doesn't try to say your just jealous or anything.

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  • 8 years ago

    It will hurt her very badly and ruin her life...sometimes ignorance is bliss. Maybe tell the guy he needs to shape up and stop fooling around on his wife because you came thissss close to telling her.

  • Joseph
    Lv 7
    8 years ago

    3 years and you didn't have a single clue that he was married? Give us a break.

  • 8 years ago

    mind your own business and cut off all contact with him. what would you gain by spilling the beans? do you want to cause drama? do you want him to be held accountable?

    have for respect for yourself and don't continue a relationship with someone that keeps you around for some to sext late at night

  • 8 years ago

    yup, put yourself in her shoes, wouldn't you like to know what your hubby is up to?

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