Seeking feedback on introduction?
This is an excerpt of a story I began not too long ago, any advice, feedback, etc. is greatly appreciated.
People like to say that the loneliest time of their lives is when they lose a loved one. I myself have lost my dad to leukemia when I was fourteen and more aunts, uncles, and cousins than I have fingers since then. No, it isn't lonely at all, it's a time to gather and celebrate the life of those who have lived by those still living. It's almost like a birthday party, well more like a reverse birthday party. I may be placing myself in the wrong group, after all most veterans say that wartime was the worst. I don't disagree with them; you leave home to train, make friends, fight, lose friends, and all that time is spent away from lovers and families. One can understand why there was a baby boom after the second "Great War." But fraternity got me through my tours like it had years before and will eons into the future; they didn't name the series 'Band of Brothers' for nothing. Still, I love my family as much as the next gent, don't get me wrong, but the loneliest epoch of my otherwise, peaceful existence was the summer at Leviathan Lake.
- ?Lv 48 years ago
you drift in the story
focus on one theme