Should I move to France with my boyfriend?

I moved to Japan to teach English three years ago and I love it.

I've recently got a boyfriend here, and we're pretty serious, but he wants to move to France next year for three years for university, and I'm on the fence about it. My concerns are that I don't speak French or even have much interest in it, I'm in a good place right now with my job (which I love), and I don't have any savings. The last of which is not as big of a problem, but it is something to be concerned about. Also getting a job in France is a concern, because aside from speaking English (and teaching it) I have no real marketable skills.

He said that if I don't go with him, he'd want to get married before he leaves.


I would like to add that I'm not interested in getting married for the sole purpose of immigration/citizenship, and to be honest, my long term plan was to pay off my student loans and then travel around the world. I'm just about USD$15,000 short of being able to do that.

2 Answers

  • Mircat
    Lv 7
    8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Does Eric Estrada know you are faking his name?

    Too many women do crazy things to follow boyfriends around and I can never actually see the reason why. You almost never read about a guy giving up his job or dreams or school for a woman. It's always the female who is going to throw it all away for the guy and almost always it's with no money, just like you. So if it doesn't work out they are always stuck.

    Quite frankly, I can't see why you'd give up your work and place you live that you seem to love so much to follow a guy to France. For what? Is he that perfect? He'll be studying he won't have time for you. What exactly would getting married solve? What would be the point of that? Immigration help for him? Then you'd have to think about spending your money to fly to France to see him because guys never fly to the woman, it's always her that does it. I'm sorry, I'm not seeing anything in this scenario you describe that benefits you in any way and if it doesn't, why do it?

  • 8 years ago

    Wow, he wants everything his way whether you move with him or not!

    Don't go to France if you're happy where you are. I'm thinking that if you don't want to go with him that perhaps you aren't as committed to him as he wants you to be. That isn't bad but its a huge consideration in making this decision.

    If he wants to marry you before he leaves, how are you feeling about that? If this is THE guy, the one you know you want to spend your life with then think about that. What happens if hes in France for 3 years while you're married? What happens after university? You both need to talk about where your relationship is going.

    Don't go just to please him but if it would please you then by all means. France is France, how bad could it be. I don't know how old you are but if you're already a teacher and speak Spanish, can't you learn French too? Maybe you can go to university as well and get a teaching certificate for France. It all depends on how you want to live your life and where you want to be in 3 years from now. Is it with this guy in France? Or is it Spain with yourself and the future you choose for yourself.

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