How to handle my fiance's clothing-related OCD?
He admitted to me that he has some kind of problem with his clothes. I'm not clear on what it is (he won't flat-out tell me), but it has something to do with his clothes having a certain level of cleanliness.
Yesterday, not knowing about this, I did a massive amount of laundry he'd hoarded (we live together) and arranged his closet so it was neat. When he came home, he kind of lost it because now it all has to be thrown out and replaced - and some of it is brand new. As in, still has tags on it.
We agreed that he'll be more proactive about cleaning and I just won't touch his stuff from now on, but aside from that, I'm trying to understand more about what's wrong with him so I don't cross the line again. He doesn't want to talk about it because it's too embarrassing for him, and I feel terrible kind of going behind his back like this, but I just don't know what else to do.
- DeAnneLv 77 years ago
I wouldn't put up with for even one more day. He has serious mental problems that will only get worse over time if he doesn't see that he has a problem and admit that he needs help with it.
The brain is a very complicated and delicate thing. It can get messed up and be unable to produce any or enough serotonin. This is called a chemical imbalance which is easily treated, very common and nothing to be ashamed of.
It can cause depression, anxiety, panic, obsession, self harm/self hatred, suicidal thoughts, eating disorders, sleeping problems, aggression/rage, anger, phobias, fears, helplessness, hopelessness, hypochondria, ADHD, paranoia, OCD, headaches, lack of interest in things, lack of motivation/ focus and much more.
He should tell a dr. everything and ask for meds. If dr. suggests anti-depressants. Zoloft/Sertraline is a good one; most people thrive on it and it has no side effects. With antidepressants, you will be much better, happier, calmer, confident, relaxed and feel normal. What a difference it makes!
According to nearly everyone who’s been to therapists, they don’t help much. They aren’t even allowed to prescribe appropriate meds to help you get better. Don’t stop taking the meds once you start to feel better. You need them, so stay on them.
But meds can do only so much. God is the ONLY one who knows what you’re thinking, how you’ve struggled and what you’re going thru. He loves you passionately and wants to be your BFF. He has a super deluxe custom made plan for your life that’s beyond anything you ever dreamed of.
BUT He waits for us to ask. Invite Him into your heart; ask Him to take over your life and your problems. You will feel so much better. You are His special masterpiece. He planned for you before He even created the universe.
Watch Him ease the stress and give you peace in it's place. He is on YOUR side. He never stops thinking about you. His thoughts toward you are more than the grains of sand on the beach (Psalm 139).
Find a big, HAPPY church, attend some groups and have fun. Talk with the pastor or youth pastor; he has more wisdom than you or I. And where else can you get counseling for free? Troubled people need PEACE. A good pastor can show you how to have perfect peace.
God loves you more than you can possibly imagine!! :)
- 7 years ago
For the sake of the relationship only he will have to tell you what lines not to cross. How will you know if he doesn't tell you? Embarrassed or not it needs to be brought out in the open
- Anonymous7 years ago
Well ocd is a very controlling thing, so the best thing to do is to not interfear but also he should get some help like going to see a counceler.