What to do in this situation?

I am trying to pick a new s.s.d.i. rep. payee. My current one said I could and I picked my brother. Unfortunately, my bro can be a bit of a control freak and so is his wife. My other brother is great, but I don't want to pick him because his wife is terrible~clingy and petulant. She has a brother herself who has a stroke (like me) and she thinks one stroke is exactly like another, like if her brother cannot ride a bike, what am I doing riding a bike? If her brother needs meds and needs someone to feed him, then shouldn't I? (I don't) So the only other possibility is a governmental rep. payee.


When I said that my current rep. payee said I could pick another rep. payee, I meant that he'd look over my considerations and suggest likely payees to the S.S.A. Please and thank you! Urgent question.

5 Answers

  • 7 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    I find it hard to beleive that SSA would force you to have a payee you were not comfortable with. If I needed a payee, my family would not be appropriate. Sure, they would make it look good and handle the money appropriately, but I would be forced to endure verbal abuse when I needed to communicate with them about the finances. And that would make a person's disability worse and make it harder for them to get off SSDI....and I could see a controlling payee not letting you get the clothes or food you like even if it is within your budget if they don't approve. I have a friend that gets on my case because I where gender neutral clothes and not feminine clothes..i find mens sneakers actaully fit better.....and usually no one can tell they are mens unless I say so....i could see her refusing to give me my money to but the shoes I liked because she thought I should have feminine shoes.

    Why can't you be your own payee? Maybe at the time you were approved you were not able, but I read through past posts and saw something about your disability being a stroke, but you are able to drive and walk with a cane. You say you are independent and physically active. If you can drive safely, it seems the stroke didn't cause a severe cognitive impairment. You make it sound like you are a lot better and should be able to go back to work, so you might be able to be your own payee until then. And if you get a paycheck, SSA can't let anyone else control that.

    Do you belong to a church? maybe someone from the church would help you out.

    Ok, so I read further and you say you have PTSD--is that why you have a payee? How does your psychiatrist feel about it? I would think most people with PTSD can handle money.

    And FYI, you are very confused about the difference between an Emotional Support Animal and A Service Animal. There is no such thing, legally speaking as an emotional service animal. For it to be a service animal, it would have to be specifically trained to avoid or stop an anxiety reaction such as push you down and force you to coddle it or lead you home if you are out in the neighborhood. An animal that you go to for comfort is an Emotional Support Animal, allowed in most housing under FHA. But for example, you live in a 2 family house, I think they are exempt. I don't remember for sure, but it the landlord has a limited number of apartments (maybe 4 or less), they are exempt.

    About the only rights that emotional support animals have under federal law is housing and airplanes.

    Some state laws may allow more.

    And federal law says only a dog or miniature horse can be a service animal.

  • Judith
    Lv 7
    7 years ago

    I guess I don't understand what your problem is. The whole idea of a payee is that the payee CONTROLS how the money is spent. If the payee isn't doing that then the payee isn't doing the job. The payee is supposed to be paying your rent, utilities directly and making arrangements as to how your groceries will be paid. The payee can give you a small allowance.

    It is immaterial if a spouse is controlling - that isn't the issue. We're talking about money here and nothing else. Your sister-in-law is going to think whatever she wants regardless of who it is who manages your money.

    Social Security only appoints professional payees if there is no responsible relative or friend willing to take on the duties and responsibilities of a payee. And those professional payees are not always available since they take on the really hard cases everyone else has given up on.

    If you want a change of payee YOU and whoever is willing to be your payee needs to go to the social security office and file a claim for change of payee. Social Security won't make the change if the current payee is doing the job as it should be done and is willing to continue as payee. They don't have the time nor the personnel to process these things just because someone is unhappy with their payee when that payee is doing what is supposed to be done.

    Source(s): I was a social security claims rep for 32 years.
  • What is wrong with your current payee? Whatever you dislike about that person you need to find someone different than that. If your brother is your only choices among family - what about friends? Parents of friends? a teacher you like alot? your pastor? your banker? There are also organization that will do it for a small fee.

  • 7 years ago

    Just go with someone else. Like with the gov rep. Doesn't sound like family, friend is the best right now.

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  • Susan
    Lv 5
    7 years ago

    I don't think you are required to appoint a family member. Pick a trusted friend instead.

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