I want to wait until marriage but all the men I meet don't, what can I do?

I've been trying to find 'the one' I guess for the better part of my life. I've always had the dream to find someone I truly love. I've met some really great guys in my life whom I thought might be 'the one' but then one thing always comes in the way - I'm waiting until I get married to have sex and it seems like no one else is. When I tell the guy I'm seeing this they get really quiet and awkward then they stop coming around, texting etc until they just ignore me altogether. I wouldn't be that offended if it didn't happen every single time I meet a guy I like.

I've tried telling the guy within the first few dates to try to be honest and I get the 'lets be friends' line. So I've tried waiting for a few months before saying anything (I thought maybe if the guy would get to know me then he wouldn't mind) but then they're either completely honest and leave or they just ignore me from then on.

I've tried eharmony, my college, churches, social groups, everything to meet the right guy but all guys, and I mean all (including those who claim they're christian) won't even consider dating me because I don't want to have sex until I'm married. What the heck!

What can/should I do? should I just give up my values and sleep with a guy to finally see if I can meet 'the one' I'm almost 26 and I'm sick of people saying 'you've got plenty of time' - no I don't, I want to be a mom and I want to be one soon, I don't want to have children in my mid thirties I wanted to start having them a few years ago.

If it's necessary to know - the reason I want to wait is one - Its a value that I have wanted to keep that I picked up from church, but 75% of the reason is because I can't afford to raise a baby on my own and I don't want to risk catching anything.

I really need some advice, and serious advice, I don't know what to do :(

Update:

See that is what I'm talking about, that car quote has been thrown in my face countless times and the 'leave religion' one aswell, yes I have heard of birth control idiot but that doesn't always stop everything, that wasn't my question, read the whole thing and if you have a useful response then answer the question, if not then leave. And just for your info, I did buy a car without test driving it. Best car I've owned.

15 Answers

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  • Mawia
    Lv 7
    7 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    There is someone out there for you, if you were meant to be married. Someone who, like you, wants to wait until marriage to consummate the union. It will be worth the wait.

  • 7 years ago

    Hi. I wish I would have waited. I was raised Christian, waited until 23, then met the man who later became my husband, but we unfortunately had sex before our marriage. How it happened is a private story, and not one we are proud of. We both have cried about it. We both have regretted it from the start and in fact, it still to this day affects the very core of our relationship. Our honeymoon sucked because of it. I hate sex because of it. It almost broke us up and stills tries to break us up if either us of think about it. When we talk about it we both end up crying. The world has this 'anything goes, don't trust the bible' mentality, but whn I look around I don't see a perfect world. If the bible is wrong, which way is better? I don't see one. Tried being bad. Tried not having morals, it isn't better.

    Keep your morals my fellow sister.

    It sucks being on the other side. I wasn't strong enough.

    Have you tried Jehovah's Witnesses? I hear they value virginity and waiting until marriage. Maybe give them a try and see what you think.

  • Anonymous
    6 years ago

    Sometimes, letting go seems like the easiest thing to do. But think about this: you've invested so much of your time and energy into another person; you've made a solemn promise; and you still know there's love, even if it's hiding underneath the surface. This website will show you how to save a marriage and avoid divorce, even if you're the only one trying https://tr.im/Hh72O

  • Anonymous
    7 years ago

    I think you should stick to your principle rather than sleeping with those people who wish to take opportunities to sleep around.

    If you meet a man who values your principle and values, then you know he is a decent good man and a good husband material. If he loves you truly, he will not mind waiting when the right time comes.

    So, yes, don't give up at all.

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  • 7 years ago

    Hi

    how are you.

    well, i'm a single guy in my late 20's, i'm happy to hear about a woman who is waiting until marriage. I'm catholic and obviously we Catholics don't believe in premarital sex. My advice for you is to find a catholic man, we Catholics tend to take our faith very seriously, though, obviously, we are sinners just like anybody else except Jesus and the Holy Virgin Mary. I love being a Catholic, i love our 7 sacraments, i love our traditions, i love our saints, everything is so great. We totally oppose gay "marriage", abortion, birth control and all that.

    Please don't change your position regarding premarital sex. It's so sad those who compare sex with a test drive, i would be so sad if my future wife "tested" 8 men to find out if they were "good" in the bed... how sad... and even sadder if a person is rejected because s/he "failed" such test.

    Leight, please don't change your position.

    May the Lord bless you and your family.

  • K8
    Lv 7
    7 years ago

    You do not need to sleep with men in order to have relationships with them. I would not give up my values or anything just because some men want sex without a serious relationship. Not at all the right men for you.

    I have been with one man in my life - my husband.

  • Anonymous
    4 years ago

    i am atheist but im not a Virgin my Fiance and i were virgins when we found each other and started dating and we both brought up the question about sex the third day she came over ( we were both 16 at the time ) and i told her i could wait till marriage or until she was ready and she looked me in the eyes and said no i want to lose my virginity to you and we had sex that night but i would never have cheated i would have waited as long as she wanted to wait for cuz i cared n loved her =D

  • BAM
    Lv 7
    7 years ago

    I and my wife both were virgins into we got married. My wife was religious and I guess I just had morals...not overly religious. We met at 26 and got married at 29. We did lots of 'messing around' prior to marriage with each other. We just didn't have sex.

    I don't know how to guide you to find others that share your values. I didn't seek out somebody that was a virgin. We were friends, became great friends and things just fit.

    Hang in there. There are others out there that share your values.

  • 7 years ago

    The key word is "no". If they can't live with that, they are not worth having. A lot of people who do test drive a car do not buy it, so that old argument is bogus.

  • z
    Lv 6
    7 years ago

    Do what you want to do and that means to wait. There is someone out there who will respect your wishes. All the others are not worth it if they don't respect your wishes to wait.

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