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I don't have any very close friends?

Ok so story of my life as briefly as possible.

I used to have a close friend called Ariana who was like a sister to me, we were neighbours and met when we were 3 and remained this close until we were about 14 when she go into the wrong crowd and I had to find new friends. I fitted in well with my new friends and I seemed to be getting relatively close to one of them called Denise but then we just started drifting apart for no real reason. I am still her friend but even when we were at our closest I didn't feel we had all that much in common and she was not the type of friend who I would have told everything, I kept a lot of stuff to myself. I have now started university and I have a number of new friends but I feel like I am constantly just mingling with everyone. I am an outsider, surrounded by people and appear to be popular but I don't have an intimate friendship. I feel like I am just scratching everyone surface without having deep meaningful conversations. Like I feel like I have lots and lots of friends but not one special friend who I can pour my heart and soul out to. I don't know if the reason I do this is because I have a sister and I am completely myself around her, she is 6 years younger than me but I feel like she is my best friend. We have always been so close and we have a lot in common. Is the reason I struggle to make close friendships because I already have this kind of friendship with my sister and don't feel the need to make as much effort with other people. Or do I just have issues opening up to people and being myself?

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  • 7 years ago
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    I know how you feel... I have left my country when I was 21 and left behind all my high school friends and since then I wasn't able to make a close friend who I feel I can rely on no matter what.

    It's pretty scary to open up to new people and very hard also. Sounds like you really didn't have to do such a thing before, as you had your childhood friend, and I guess when yo are only 3 years old, you really say what you think and have no inhibitions, and thus you form bonds with people that are strong.

    Seems like the older you get, the more reserved you get...at least that's what happened to me.

    I guess, we just have to make a leap. Same as in a proper relationship, you have to trust the other person and hope they will not screw you over. In the end, you just have to put yourself out there (and me too for that matter...)

    Good luck, and keep meeting new people...eventually you will find someone who you feel comfortable with :)

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