How do people meet people?

I've had 3 relationships in my life, 2 one night stands, and a few kisses (I'm 21). All my relationships start the same way, Facebook. I'm contacted or I contact them, we talk over coffee, kiss and it starts. They're also usually the same person too: mentally unstable, and immature, with an inability to commit to anyone romantically for more than three months.

I could do that again except shortly after the last one I quit Facebook as a confessed Facebook addict. There goes that, clubs never work and neither do supermarkets.

I was just watching old Kate Nash videos and watching my best friend and his girl of 4 years (who I honestly have better chemistry and more in common with) thinking of how id like someone like that, a girlfriend for like 3 to 6 years. As a writer I've written a lot of corny love stories like that but never had one.

Obviously I'm meeting the wrong kind of women so where am I going wrong? Should I frequent more libraries? Or law practices? What?

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  • 6 years ago
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    First of all, don't even go there with your friend's g/f....okay? She's taken, chemistry or no chemistry. HUGE mistake waiting to happen there & get your mind out of that gutter...LOL...(been there done that & lost everyone).

    Secondly, have you tried dating sites? I have friends that have gotten into good relationships from eHarmony, Chemistry.com, Match.com, Plenty of Fish and Jdate.

    Third, it sounds like you don't have good boundaries about dating. You need to have some sort of method whereby you get to know the person and size up not just if they like you, but if you like them. If all you want is one night stands, then having a one night stand is the way to go. Otherwise, have some respect for the woman, and yourself and take the time to see if this is someone you'd want to hang out with, introduce to your friends, etc.

    Two things could help you out here. One would be to make up a dating guideline or a dating worksheet (these can be found online too). In there make an outline for how many dates before you kiss, have sex, tell your life's story. In other words, you are making yourself date on purpose. With intention. So you grow into intimacy both physical and mental at the same pace. It's a huge mistake to jump into a relationship sex 1st. You get tangled up before you really know this person and they can turn out to be a nightmare and you just wasted a bunch of time & money. Also, it might help to make a list of qualities you like (OTHER than good looking, nice butt, etc). Like, sense of humor, creative, dependable, easy going, foodie, athletic, outdoorsy, movie buff, likes animals, do you like to do the same kinds of things on your day off, etc. Both of those exercises are to make YOU aware of what you want so you will know it when you see it (or meet her).

    Fourth, in addition to or instead of computer dating, try getting involved in the things you like to do and meet people that way. Join a rock climbing club if that's what you like, or a book club, volunteer at a shelter if you like animals, or food bank if you care about the homeless, a Boys & Girls Club if you like kids, look for MeetUps in a category you like, or take a class at a community college. Join the choir if you like signing or learn how to cook (that will make any woman weak in the knees!), or get certified to scuba dive, whatever....There's gotta be a million things that you could learn that you don't currently know. And the worst that could happen is you don't meet a woman, but you have a fun time anyway and come away with even more to offer to the next best girl you meet.

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  • Me and my ex met at work. Together for 8 years and have a daughter together. She dumps me and dates another guy from our work. ******* whore.

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