My wife doesn't initiate sex !!?

Hello! My name is william and I'm 35 and my wife is 33, we've been married for 15 years and we still love each other. I love her and I can't imagine my life without her, she's my other half and I feel complete when I'm around her, her smile makes up my day.We have 6 kids (17 boy, 15,14 girls ,9, 4boy,yrs and 6 months old boy ) . I'm very poor as I'm a gardener and I don't get paid much we live in a very small apartment ( 1 bedroom which my kids share, a living room and a bathroom, we don't have a kitchen we have a small fridge and a small oven) me and my wife stay in the living room and sleep on the floor, I can't afford for luxurious stuff and fancy dinner outside, I can't buy her new clothes and dresses which makes me feel like a loser . My wife is very shy when we first had sex she was really embarrassed and shy, she blushed and turned all red. She never asks me for sex I'm the one who asks for it but she never turned me down. She makes me take control when we have sex and she never moans she pulls my hair and whispers my name in my ears but  she doesn't scream or shout. I really like having sex with her and it is my only stress release and everything and she is really great in bed but sometimes I feel like I'm the problem here and I can't make her want to do it more often and I can't fulfil her pleasures. We still do it like twice a week and we kiss and we never fight but she's still shy, when we get bored we play cards and sometimes I make her win just to make her happy


And when I tell her sweet things and flirt with her she blushes and hide her face and smiles or just come up with something to do. It's not a new problem she is naturally shy even around others. She respects me and never yelled at me. She never complained about our sex and she kisses me a lot and I enjoy it. It's not only about sex, she doesn't talk to people or even ask about something in stores and stuff and she is very quiet, but is lovable kind and funny, she talks to me comfortably,

Update 2:

she jokes around and I really love it when she laughs, she never talked to people freely and she blushes. Her parents used to abuse her and they kicked her out when she was young.She cant control our kids and she never yelled at them or punish them, i have to interfere. Please help what shall I do is there a problem with me or is she normal? Don't tell me to think about the future because I'am and I'm having 3 jobs just take care of my family so please don't !

4 Answers

  • 6 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Uhm maybe she is just naturally shy .. If you really want to be irresistible to her fix your appearance & always smell fresh ..being married for a long time doesn't mean you should stop looking good ..tease her and fck her good lol i mean you can be nasty with her sometimes and tell her nice things while doing it (ex. You're sexy, you're lips taste good etc)

    Source(s): Make her feel desirable
  • 6 years ago

    Have you ever TALKED to her about what you would like? I am sure her upbringing has instilled some taboos about sex. Show her your letter from here. She don't make sounds because she does not want the children to hear and know what you're doing.

  • 6 years ago

    I think you've answered your own question. She's shy. She probably will never not be shy, so she's NOT going to be the one to initiate sex. You knew she was shy, so you'll just have to live with the person that she is. Most shy women find it very difficult to initiate sex, their fears come to the fore and they feel stupid.

    However, have you told her that you wish she'd initiate sex more? IF so, what's her response?

  • Anonymous
    6 years ago

    so this is the reason why you're unhappy with your marriage? it sounds like you're both a bit insane.

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