Forced to stay married to cousin?

Salaams,

I want a DIVORCE right now. I am currently married to a good-for-nothing cousin who has too much fondness for drinking, gambling, womanising, etc. Most times, he is never at home, never here to support me and his family, financially or emotionally. I am the one who is working and supporting my kids financially, while my husband is co-habiting with a non-Muslim mistress and supporting her kids with drug money.

Families on both sides are pressuring us to stay married, as they want to save face in community.

Moreover, Imams are unhelpful. They are useless with their crappiest advice. Whatever they tell my husband, all their words all go in his one ear and out the other. Hours in their absence, my husband laughs at their gullibility and makes mockery of them all.

Imams keep reminding me of my duty to my husband. No matter what I say or do, Imams and Sharia judges all side with him: they are all fooled by his gifted articulation which gives him too much credibility.

I asked this question yesterday.

https://ca.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20...

10 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    6 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    I am so sorry about what you are going through sister but you shouldn't have married him at the beginning if he was like that. Why did you let your parents persuade u into marrying him - I'm guessing they did right?

    If I was you I would leave your husband. Make sure to take all your things and stuff that you can sell as well. Make sure to take your wedding sari and jewellery too and take any money you can. Find a home to live in first and then yeah move out and file for divorce. Change your bank account details, delete any social net working sites, change your number and yeah make sure he doesn't find you and that he doesn't use any information about you that can harm you.

    Make sure he pays child support and spousal support as well and that he takes the kids for the weekends. As for his family, well u don't have to worry about them. Worry about your kids and your self instead.

    And it doesn't matter what anyone else says too. People talk about everything all the time, people who gossip well bad things happen to them too. And how do you know people probably know how your husband is like and are talking anyways. Their probably thinking that you should leave him too.

    Good luck sister and I hope everything works out for you, make sure to carry on with your job and don't marry straight away if u ever choose to marry again.

    Xxxxx

    EDIT: also don't go to sharia court. They only ever take the men side and won't be fair with you.

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  • 6 years ago

    Wa alaikum salam You have the strong reason to ask for a divorce from the court by bringing its evidence and witnesses because your husband is not a good and responsible Muslim as soon as possible although the big families of both sides do not permit it You have your own right to decide it.Do not hear them because they do not suffer what you have been suffered for long time.Allah hates divorce but it is halal because he has neglected you and his kids.

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  • Anonymous
    6 years ago

    Wasslam.

    Go to the court with someone. Sign the contract and say good bye to him.

    Islam encourages men to take care his family, so he has responsibilities in which he must full-fill in order to make Allah happy.

    Source(s): Problem solved.
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  • 6 years ago

    Asalamualaykum sister.

    I can see that you are facing some problems in terms of marriage. first of all let me ensure you that as a muslim woman you have the right to agree or disagree to marriage and therefore the people that have or may have forced you to marry have committed a sin for which they should repent.

    from what you have described about your husband, may Allah show him the right path and remind him of the day for which he will be accounted for his sins and good deeds. Although if those are truly his actions and he is not seeking advice from any islamic council and IF he has neither the intention to repent for his actions (for which he will inshallah i hope) then you have every right to have a divorce, in islam it is called KHULLA and what you must do is simply have divorce papers signed from court and the married life between you and him will come to an end.

    Society will not care whether you are divorced or not, or maybe some of the ill-minded people will. you should not be so sensitive in this matter as people will also judge you in an even more ill manner if you chose to remain with a man that has been so led astray from his religion.

    i hope i answered your question properly, if you truly believe that you have fulfilled or have attempted to fulfill your duties as a wife and a mother than you have every right to take the khulla and anyone that tries to stop you for the sake of their own pride are sinners and should look forward to their judgement rather than worrying about their puny worldly lives.

    Source(s): My own knowledge, ive studied islamiat
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  • Anonymous
    6 years ago

    Salam.

    There are two options,

    The first option is to run away and start a new life.

    The second option is to apply for fasakh (http://hamariweb.com/dictionaries/divorcement_urdu...

    A decision on fasakh may be made ONLY by the Sharia court after hearing the wife's complaint.

    A married woman shall be entitled to apply to the Sharia court for and obtain a decree of fasakh on any one or more of the following grounds,

    - that the husband has neglected or failed to provide for her maintenance for a period of three months

    - that the husband has been sentenced to imprisonment for a period of three years or upwards and such sentence has become final

    - that the husband has failed to perform, without reasonable cause, his marital obligations for a period of one year

    - that the husband was impotent at the time of the marriage and continues to be so

    - that the husband is insane or is suffering from some chronic disease the cure of which would be lengthy or impossible and which is such as to make the continuance of the marriage relationship injurious to her;

    - that the husband treats her with cruelty, that is to say; habitually assaults her or makes her life miserable by cruelty of conduct even if such conduct does not amount to physical ill-treatment

    - lives and cohabits with another woman who is not his wife

    So make a complain on Sharia court, now. Divorce your husband through fasakh. You don't need a permission from your imam or anyone.

    Good luck, sis

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  • Anonymous
    6 years ago

    Take John's advice. If you're married in the 'legal', as opposed to the 'religious' sense, then see a lawyer and divorce him through the civil court.

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  • Anonymous
    6 years ago

    Depends what kind of marriage. Islamic marriage? Just walk out on him and take whatever belongs to you with you.

    If UK law for example, get advice from CAB in any town there.

    Imams, clerics, mullahs, sheikhs, scholars etc ? They are just 'clowns'. I know, I used to consult them on various issues.

    Use your own initiative. Get a grip on your life and act.

    John

  • Peace
    Lv 5
    6 years ago

    sister, if divorce is best and you have a valid reason, then you should go ahead.

    No one understands what you have been through and of course they go on the mans side

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  • sam
    Lv 4
    6 years ago

    He will be forgiven after a light punishment in hell because he is a Muslim.

    Just as all Christains will be forgiven by asking in the name of Jesus 5 minutes before dying.

    I saw this bumper sticker in US reading " Christains are not perfect. They are just forgiven"

    So have fun. Fear not.

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  • Anonymous
    6 years ago

    you married your cousin, sick

    end it now before you bring deformed children into the world

    why would you marry your cousin are you sick?

    • Lv 4
      6 years agoReport

      Indeed. What are some people thinking ??

      I despair.

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