Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsEngagements & Weddings · 6 years ago

Fiance's parents are divorced, so what do i put on our invitations?

I am doing a very formal invitation and I am confused as to what to put for my fiance's parents as they are divorced. His mom kept his dads last name, and his dad is re-married, so it would be confusing for all three of them to be on there with the same last name. And also, should his step mother even be on there? i don't want to hurt anyones feelings but i was thinking to put something like :

"Mr. and Mrs. Marcus Legend request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Ayla Legend to Kyle Possin, son of Martha Possin and Tony Possin" ... but , if i have his step mom on there it will be like "Mr. and Mrs. Marcus Legend request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Ayla Legend to Kyle Possin, son of Martha Possin and Tony Possin (Jennifer Possin)" and to me that is just looks weird. What do you all think? I want our parents names on there, but our real parents. his step mother is amazing and i love her, but she isn't helping with the wedding, his real father is and his mother is, his step mother isn't giving us any money for it and isn't helping plan in any way, and to me it makes more sense for only his real parents names to be on there.. thoughts? what is a way i can do this and make all happy but keep the template i want?

7 Answers

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  • 6 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    First off, it doesn't matter who is paying. The invite is not a billboard to advertise who is picking up the check. If you want to include the parents, fine, but do it as a tribute to their love and support, not to let people know who's paying for the wedding. (Plus, if your fiance's father is helping with the wedding payment, then by definition his wife is helping as well.)

    Second, you need to ask your fiance about this. He should have the final say. What has he said about all this?

    Third, remember that in terms of etiquette, "and" means that people are married. Which is why you don't say "Ms. Nancy Mother and Mr. and Mrs. Andrew Father," because that implies that his dad has two wives.

    You have several options:

    Together with their parents/families,

    Your Name

    and

    His Name

    request the pleasure of your company

    as they exchange marriage vows

    date

    time

    place

    (This is the easiest, simplest, most catch-all option that won't leave your invite looking like a law firm letterhead.)

    ---

    Your Name

    daughter of Mr. and Mrs. John Smith

    and

    His Name

    son of Ms. Nancy Mother

    Mr. and Mrs. Andrew Father

    request the pleasure of your company

    etc. etc. etc.

    ---

    Mr. and Mrs. John Smith

    request the pleasure of your company

    at the marriage of their daughter

    Your Name

    to

    His Name

    son of Ms. Nancy Mother

    Mr. and Mrs. Andrew Father

    date, time, place

    ---

    Mr. and Mrs. John Smith

    Ms. Nancy Mother

    Mr. and Mrs. Andrew Father

    request the pleasure of your company

    at the marriage of their children

    Your Name

    and

    His Name

    date, time, place

  • ?
    Lv 6
    6 years ago

    Traditionally, the bride's parents pay for the wedding and are the only ones listed on the invitation, so adding the Groom's parents at all is a step away from the "norm". If all four are paying for the ceremony and are therefore "hosting", you'd list them all as the "inviting party", and can leave on or off whomever you wish (it's your wedding after all, and most people have to bend traditional "rules" due to modern blended families anyway).

    Mr. and Mrs. Bride,

    Mr. Groom,

    and Ms. Groom's Mom

    request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their children,

    Bride (first and middle, last name is a given that it matches your parents)

    Groom (first and middle, too)

    The fact that all three "parents" on his side all have his last name would make it obvious it's a blended family situation, so you're good any way you go about it.

  • Jo
    Lv 7
    6 years ago

    Put it the way you have it ---Mr. and Mrs. Marcus Legend request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Ayla Legend to Kyle Possin, son of Martha Possin and Tony Possin. Leave the (Jennifer Possin) off. I imagine all your guests are aware they are divorced. I imagine all your guests are aware that he is the son of Martha and Tony. Step-mom does not need to be mentioned.

    I don't know why you are saying step mom isn't giving you any money. If she is married to his father - and he is giving you money - isn't that part of her finances too? Why would you think she needs to contribute separately? As far as helping plan - what do you want her to do? You have help and likely she is thinking she doesn't have a place - being a step mom -and doesn't want to cause any drama by insisting on helping. And is just staying out of it to not cause any issues. If you want her involved -then YOU ask her. No reason you can't involve her if you want to. YOU ask her.

    And please back off the "she isn't giving us any money". Again, if she is married to the father - then whatever he is giving concerns her finances as well. Being a step mom doesn't mean she contributes separately from the father.

  • 6 years ago

    Technically, I don't believe you need to include the names of the groom's parents. You include the names of YOUR parents, if they are hosting the event, that's it. But if you want to include the names, this site has some excellent formal wordings in cases where the bride's parents are hosting and are divorced and may or may not be remarried. You can simply adapt that language to your circumstances.

    http://www.bellafigura.com/letterpress/etiquette/w...

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  • 6 years ago

    I think if he considers her a second mother, like if she helped raise him as a child then MAYBE figure out a way to include her. However if they were married after he was grown and he only thinks of her as a step mom, not a second mom, then don't even think about it. Even with the first scenario I'd be hesitant to include her name.

  • 6 years ago

    Be an adult and leave off all names of all parents on your invitations.

  • 6 years ago

    I had the same situation.

    We put

    "Together with their parents,

    BRIDE

    and

    GROOM

    invite you to

    ...."

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