Love my kids...but not happy with the dogs they brought along for the holiday. Help?
A kid's boyfriend brought two 11 month old dogs for the holiday. So far they have scratched kitchen cabinets, torn a screen door, gouged hardwood floors, thrown up on professionally cleaned rugs, dug a hole in new upholstery, played in new mulch beds and spread mulch all over the yard, barked constantly, stolen food off kitchen counters, and peed on the hardwood floors. There are dog toys everywhere, dog coops have been set up in the great-room, and the kids haven't wanted to do anything because the puppies can't be left alone for more than 2 hours. The kids set up baby gates to keep the dogs in a few areas, and another guest has tripped over one of their gates and been injured. They shredded toilet paper in a bathroom. My kid & her boyfriend only want to talk about the dogs, which are their 'children.' They do go to obedience school, but the only thing they do on command is shake hands LOL. My other guests are not dog people, so this holiday is not going well at all. I think this boyfriend will be my son-in-law, so this isn't going to be a one-time thing. Has anyone else ever encountered a situation with family members and ill-behaved pets (or kids)? What did you do!
- ?Lv 76 years agoFavorite Answer
Try to maintain good relationships with all your family, but I have been where you are. Insist on the dogs being leash-walked and not just let out in your yard ---that will preserve the rest of your garden. Ask them to walk the dogs down the street or at a park, etc. rather than in your yard ---or walk them out front, etc, if that's a better place. Go to the store and buy two kongs (black are best.) Stuff them with kibble, yogurt, peanut butter --you can buy kong stuffing also. Freeze them and give to the pups ---this can buy you a little quiet time. Feed the dogs by putting their ration of food inside the kongs, rather than putting the food into bowls, where they will wolf it down too fast. If company comes that doesn't like dogs, then put the dogs on a leash and hand one to your child and the other one to her boyfriend. If you don't have one, buy a spot bot or Bissell carpet machine --it has saved my life many times. Buy two dog crates and put them upstairs or in a far-away room. Use the crates anytime you need to. Don't expect your child nor her boyfriend to buy anything, because if they are like my kids, they don't have the money. Tell them next visit you are going to pay for boarding in a kennel near your home. And do that. It is well worth the money, but you do have to get your kids to commit in advance to a time, so you can actually get boarding spots arranged. Better to schedule and cancel than not to schedule until you are sure whether they will actually come. If you can get through the puppy thing, the dogs will most likely be better ----although my son's dog is 3 and still creating havoc in my yard when he's here. We looked out one day and saw him running through the yard with a 4 ft section of GUTTER in his mouth! Needless to say, that was his last unsupervised trip out in the back yard, which is fenced. Start planning now for the days when your child will bring her own children. Covers for your furniture, throw rugs, play areas, etc. While there is time to plan, it's good to think ahead. I know exactly what you are going through -- your kids are not being disrespectful purposely. They don't realize things. They will, when they have their own home. Our son is suddenly mortified when his dog is muddy and comes inside HIS house, whereas I was always cleaning muddy carpets when he was living here temporarily. I can tell you that whatever you allow will continue. But do plan to spend $$$$$ to do some or all the things I have suggested. As we speak, I'm waiting for our son and his wife to bring over her dog for me to keep for good. They ended up with 3 dogs together and are finding it impossible. I have crate, kongs, etc. ready and waiting...........In the grand scheme of things it's only "stuff," but you may have to change some things to make it work better for your sanity!!! Good luck, and isn't it good that you have family to share Easter? vet tech and fellow granddog tolerator!
- Anonymous6 years ago
Hasn't happened to me, but if it did, my daughter would have been told after the first damage happened that she either has to take control of the situation or board the dogs. If she instead chose to leave in a huff, so be it. At least my house would be in one piece and my other guest would not be injured (don't forget that could end up a possible lawsuit).
Your daughter and her bf are being EXTREMELY DISRESPECTFUL. They shouldn't have to be told to get their wild and destructive dogs out of your home. EVERYONE's holiday is being ruined and that makes you a terrible hostess. As homeowner and mother, you set the rules. If it's too late for daughter to find a boarding kennel that has room for her dogs, then she and bf can just leave so the rest of you can enjoy what's left of the day.
And obviously she will also be told not to bring the dogs back. Ever. Because if they're that out of control at 11 months, neither daughter nor bf have a clue how to train them.
- BJLv 76 years ago
It is your house and you set the rules. Although they are your kids the boyfriends are not and they need to obey the rules you set. I, also, would not hesitate to ask them to leave - perhaps even get a room nearby during their stay. Or - to save them expense have them get a dog crate - or two - that the puppies can stay in while they are not around and even when not being personally supervised. If this is going to be a long term problem (son-in-law) then be thankful that you are getting a glimpse into the future. If this puppy behavior continues and they are not stopped or corrected now it will only get worse.
Although you do not wish to upset the situation you are allowing the destruction to happen and it is your choice how to proceed. Good luck.
- Land-sharkLv 76 years ago
They shouldn't have brought dogs that couldn't be controlled. If they don't offer to pay for the damage and put things right I'd be well pissed... potential in-law or whatever.
All you can do for now is crate the dogs when they're not being supervised adequately. Another time they come for a visit perhaps they can arrange to leave their dogs in day care nearby?
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- LorraineLv 76 years ago
The reason there is such a big problem is that the kid's boyfriend never had the experience to deal with TWO PUPS at the same time in the first place and hence he now has two hooligan adolescent dogs.
Personally I'd be asking them to leave and I'd also be asking them to contribute to the amount of damage they have done.
- 6 years ago
Grin and bear it this time, but next time, explain to your kids that YOUR home is not dog-proof and that their pets are neither welcome nor safe, there. It's YOUR home. YOU get to say who visits and who does not. If they cannot leave their pets home for a few hours (probably because the dogs do the same thing at home that they do to your house) then "so sorry that you could not visit because you need to stay home with your pets".
- CDogLv 76 years ago
If they are ruining your house, it's fair to ask them to leave them at home next time. I'd be pissed, and I love dogs. I would be mortified if my dog(s) did all of that to someone's home, relative or not. It's possible the dogs will be better trained next time, but two puppies the same age are difficult to train. I wish you luck!
- Horse LoverLv 76 years ago
It is your house so make rules. No dogs unless they are fully trained and obedient. If they get mad they will get over it or they won't, so what. They are disrespecting you and you need to take a stand.
- GllntKnightLv 76 years ago
No because I won't allow it. You allowed it to happen so deal with it!