I feel so worthless because of this guy. Someone give me advise plz?

Ok so this guy who I used to buy coffee from at who I thought liked me because he would always strike up conversation with me and ask me personal questions about my life completely DISSED ME. One Friday night he asked me if I had plans that night and whether I drinked. It was caught off guard by the question. I said I had nothing too exciting planned and that I’d have a glass of wine but wasn’t really into getting drunk. He then laughed and said ‘curl up with a glass of wine.’ After that he got a really serious look on his face, looked at me intensely, and me being the socially awkward IDIOT that I am, smiled at him. Guess what? He had a gf! Kill me.

We ran into each other again after that boy did he have a point to make. He was sitting with his friend and they were both laughing. I looked at him thinking he would say hi to me and he just sat there laughing like ‘b$&$& I don’t give a eff if u don’t get drunk I ain’t into you.’’

According to social media he had a gf the entire time. Why would he ask me these questions? I’m usually by myself so he probably thought I was a loser. I’m really heartbroken cuz I liked him.

This is really bothering me and I feel stupid. I tried coming out of my shell and look what happens to me. I need advice because this whole situation is affecting my wellbeing.

2 Answers

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  • 3 years ago

    It's good to smile. It's good to socialize. It's great to interact with people. And the more you do so.. the more you'll like it too. Someone being friendly to you, someone who sees you often and starts asking things about you and talking to you.. that's healthy stuff! It's not dating. It's not having a relationship, it's nice. It's nice. Try to do it yourself with people. Eventually that sort of thing can lead to a friendship. Not with everyone. But with some people.

    It'd be good to make this an assignment for yourself. Try, at least once a week, to engage in a conversation with someone from work, or the bookstore, or the guy at the coffee parlor (who treated you like a customer he liked and didn't mistreat you at all), chat with your neighbor... practise coming out of your shell. Not just for a moment with someone you like and then slam the door shut again, but for moments with as many people you can try to start to like. Try starting to like people and interact with them. This is a huge opportunity for you to start peeling the layers off your onion of protection and actually grow stronger because of it. Stop hiding!

    You found yourself actually liking to engage. You liked smiling and taking to someone. So try smiling and talking to more people. He didn't "diss" you. You are a person he talks to at work. That's a good thing. You aren't his personal friend. That's his protective layer. Everyone has them.

  • I'm so sorry to hear that this happened. Considering that he had a girlfriend the entire time, I guess it would be fair to say that he was only messing around with you. This does not, in any way, reflect on who you are as a person; however. it does speak volumes about how he is (an A-class *****). You are honestly better off without him. Confide in a friend about how you feel, and do the things that you enjoy in order to get your mind off of him.

    As for coming out of the shell, I hope that this negative experience will not discourage you from taking more chances in the future. Disappointments are inevitable whenever we decide to take risks (especially in the romance department), but I do believe that the right one for you will eventually come along.

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