How can I help my husband through his grief?

My husband’s mother died of cancer when he was 24 or 25, about ten years ago, well before I even met him. He never really talked about her much, but I know it affected him deeply. Recently, his grandfather (his mother’s father) passed (old age) and while he was doing all right for a while, he’s recently been spiraling into a depressive state that he finally admitted to me was because he had been thinking about his mom and how he wish he had tried to know her better when she was alive. All I could really do was hug him.

I don’t know how to help him because he’s a very private person and bottles a lot up. Part of it is because he’s Japanese and was raised with the social stigma that you have to get over your mental issues yourself. I don’t think it’s helpful to force him to talk but I feel very helpless because he won’t talk with me about personal issues unless i get fed up and either yell or cry about my frustrations, which feels very selfish if I’m honest.

6 Answers

  • 2 years ago

    i would just tell hinn if he needs to talk about it you will listen

  • 2 years ago

    I'm so sorry to read this. My heart goes out to you.

    Your husband may benefit from a grief support group. The one I know about is called GriefShare. There are meeting throughout the U. S. and Canada. He can find a group close to your house by going to All the people at GriefShare have lost loved ones. They understand what your husband is going through. They can help your him to work through the 5 stages of grief.

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    2 years ago

    He probably never got the appropriate grief counseling after his mother died so the more predictable death of another close family member brought all that anguish flooding past. If he won't consider therapy you may have to consider extricating yourself from this relationship. People who refuse to help themselves get better are extremely difficult to be around.

  • 2 years ago

    The time is essence for his healing , wait and console him . Soon , he will be OK

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  • Anonymous
    2 years ago

    Since he probably won't go to therapy, suggest he join a grief recovery group. They're offered free by many churches & social organizations, are very informal and usually lasts about 6 weeks.

  • ?
    Lv 4
    2 years ago

    Encourage him to go to counselling

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