Do Chelsea need a striker coach?
I know you Italians are very passionate people about the game. By the game I mean organised crime. Moving onward, I am writing to you through my Yahoo! Mail! Account! for the oppurtunity to work as striker coach at Chelsea F.C. I have much experience playing as a striker for Liverpool, Real Madrid and Manchester United, playing alongside Champions League winners, although I have not won one myself I would bring that Champions League winning experience to your team. I do not know why people keep saying the Chelsea manager is sarry I am not sure what he is sarry for, I hope you can forgive him for whatever he has done, maybe because he sent Diego Costa away on loan? Thank you for taking the time to read my application email, I look forward to working for you in the future if you give me the job. If not, you are a giant bellend.
P.S. I will not watch any films of the past games.
England's greatest footballer,