Should you care what your partner thinks about you?

My boyfriends mother was living with and she was a total nightmare. He wouldn't do anything about it, so i took the kids and moved out. While i was gone, the whole house went to hell. There was garbage EVERYWHERE, rotten food, dirty laundry all over, grime and filth everywhere, and i think he got depressed because the bedroom was filled with empty pizza boxes, pop bottles filled with urine, and piles of cigarette butts.

I went to help him clean up, and ofcourse I was completely apauled! I wanted to vomit. I asked him, "how could you even let me see this? Arent you embarrassed?"

He responded, "I'm not embarrassed because its just you."

Now he said this like its a good thing that hes not worried about my judgement, but i am very concerned about it. Shouldnt he care what i think of him?

Is this not a bad sign? Or is it good, like he said. Honestly, its making me seriously question whether our relationship is on a good track or a bad track.

9 Answers

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  • 1 year ago
    Favorite Answer

    So.. you left him.. And he and his mother then trashed the house?

    While I understand your question, this is not the time to even ask it. If you were appalled, it's because it was out of the ordinary.. Of course he's not embarrassed by it - you're HIS WIFE. He doesn't need to prove anything to you.. He is of the belief that you love him, and will understand him and help him.

    His behaviour does sound like that of someone suffering from severe depression.

    • ???
      Lv 4
      1 year agoReport

      Thanks for being the only person who actually answered my question

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  • 1 year ago

    Why didn't you get in your car and leave and let him and his mother live in the filth? Aren't you going to leave him?

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  • 1 year ago

    Yes. Everything is important.

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  • 1 year ago

    Your opinion of yourself is way too high

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    • mike1 year agoReport

      Hahah. U r still wrong for taking his kids away like that. It’s kidnapping. Illegal and immoral. Your low and trashy and apparently your husband is too

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  • ???
    Lv 4
    1 year ago

    Hi this is me the person who posted the question. WTF are you guys all talking about? I never once said i moved back in. I said i went to help him clean it up. And no i didnt bring my kids. I asked a simple question and all i get is judgement based on all your assumptions. I dont even know why expected more from the f**king internet. Thanks for nothing everyone

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  • Anonymous
    1 year ago

    Ugh. This is one of those questions that says a lot more about you than you realize. What on earth possessed you to drag your kids into a home life like this? You barely mentioned them, and to be honest, that's pretty pathetic.

    Who cares what your "partner" thinks of you? Why not worry about what your kids think of you? They may be young now, but they'll have some pretty tough questions when they're older.

    Stop worrying about your love life and ALWAYS put them first. They're the victims here, because they're stuck with your horrible and selfish decisions.

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  • 1 year ago

    You can not allow your children to be in a filthy hoarding environment sinking into deep depression and hopelessness You also can not cure it! And cleaning it up does not mean it's not going to start building back up tomorrow. Please don't clean it up, don't move the kids back in, and don't pretend that everything is okay now. It is not okay. Your relationship is on a horrible track and your partner has gone down the rabbit hole He needs professional help. Don't move your kids back in with him. He sure as heck SHOULD care about what you think of him! If he doesn't care what you think of him... he doesn't care much about you either and has ceased to care about himself. I think that is true. His unhappiness has become more important to him than anything or anyone else. Horrible environment for your kids.

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  • Face it. Your partnered up with a disgusting human being. Pee in pop bottles?? What kind of pig does that?

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  • Mikey
    Lv 7
    1 year ago

    What did you expect when you took off with the kids?? Those are the people you should be worried about. They are the true victims in all of this.

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