Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 11 months ago

What's wrong with my dad?

My mom is such a outgoing happy person and now that i'm older I think i've realized why they never worked out cuz he washe was neglectful to his kids and he still is. i don't have a bond with my dad i've never done anything willing father daughter stuff on his part. Only I have offered to take him out to dinner for no reason or special occasions. My dad never seems like a happy person and when he does it seems kinda fake, only laughs at his own humour. He had no social life with friends only an ex gf years after my mom. I don't know where my brother learned to be verbally abusive cuz despite my dad not being really there for me he's never been abusive in any way (besides neglect) but my brother ended up verbally and mentally abusing me. he sends me msg threatening me nd saying he doesn't care if i die and u should kill myself. It hurts bcuz i have been suicidal before and struggle with depression and i tell my dad all this and STILL he chooses to not use that as a way to bond, comfort, or support me. He literally just asks me if i need money sometimes and that's it. Is it also worth maybe cutting my dad out of my life completely becuz it's like he doesn't try to be in it anyway and i feel it's more painful to know someone is 'there' but not you know?

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  • Anonymous
    11 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    You might be mad at the wrong person, but it's hard to guess. If your brother is this nasty and this abusive to you, this means things happened growing up that made him extremely angry as a kid. I have no idea what those things were, but it wasn't a mentally absent dad. This is more common than you realize.

    So when you wonder where he "learned" to be this way, it's not something people learn. It's how they react when they're consumed with anger, meaning he needs counseling. Have you ever talked to your mom about the things he says to you?

    PS - I'm not defending him, in case it sounds like that. If you have your own issues to deal with, you may have to cease all contact until you're healthier yourself. That may involve therapy, because obviously there's other issues floating around you may not see. That alone will cause depression.

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  • 11 months ago

    rnaybe he has rnental issues and your brother rnight too, i would block hirn so you dont get rnessages like that

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  • Anonymous
    11 months ago

    There’s more to the story than you know, I can tell you that. Maybe something g bad happened between your parents and he sees you as an extension of her so there’s some resentment there. You’re like a chain link that keeps them in each other lives unwillingly. So he might not know how to approach you because he sees you as half him and half someone he used to love but now doesn’t. A lot of people are quick to blame dads, but no one ever questions the mom or what she did. Maybe ask some questions about HIM. Maybe he isn’t a good people person and has anxiety you can’t see. Some people need that push.

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