How to stop being extremely jealous of the guy who's stealing my girl?

This guy is her "type" Musician. Graphic Designer. Heavily involved in the punk rock music scene Always going to shows and stuff. He's a stoner. She thinks it's so fascinating that he works in his field of interest, for musical artists, designing their album covers and logos, and working on banners for record stores and skate shops. I'm not a looker, but she should be able to get past that for someone who will be there for her and not be high out of his mind on who knows what. As soon as I met this guy for the first time, I thought "holy ѕhit, he looks just like Judd Nelson when he was young". And I'm serious here, looks just like him in the Breakfast Club. Same hair and everything, it makes me so mad that this is the type she's into. I brought it up to kinda subtly point out that she's going for a loser, 'cause the character's also a loser (Stoner, drinking, no realistic plans for the future) and she got excited about it. "I know he does! He's told that constantly though, someone even bought him a little figure as a joke because that's how often he's told it" and she starts laughing and blushing like a little girl. Pathetic behaviour. Real great, John Bender walks into my real life, goes into graphic design and hijacks my life. Just my luck. I'm so bitter. I want to rip his stupid leather jacket off her shoulders when she's wearing it. I've been tempted to steal one of his stupid band pins off of the jacket too, just out of spite. But I have to act like an adult here.

Update:

I guess she's not exactly "mine" yet. But I've been trying for so long and this guy just comes in and sweeps her off her feet. I'm really boiling about this.

16 Answers

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  • 6 months ago

    I don't think you can just "stop" feeling a feeling. Feelings are just there. I do not know of any way to think one's way out of a feeling.

  • 6 months ago

    Forget her...

  • 6 months ago

    Just be yourself and don’t be jealous for long.Dont show her that you’re jealous. Please don’t lose your value if she leaves. It means you deserve someone better than her. If she’s meant to be with you , she herself will come back and apologise.

  • 6 months ago

    Well the good news here, if there is any, is that if she's into him, and he's so different from you, then you've discovered it probably wouldn't work out between you and her. It's a loss, but better to know that sooner than later. Sorry for your loss.

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  • 6 months ago

    Sorry to hear that, but you can’t own

    Someone, so yours is still waiting l wonder

    What she’s doing now?

    Thanks

    Very Best Wishes

    Mars

    Source:) Personal views sited

  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    He could just be a temporary thing like you said he’s a party animal and not good long term relationship material. You would have to be incredibly dumb to be with someone like that. Long term anyways for obvious reasons. Just keep trying to better yourself/life, get a better income, work on your personality and try to be that family oriented guy who has all the right morals and is more able to provide for a fam. Hit the game in all the areas he is lacking get buff etc. Keeo trying even harder and keep growing stronger mentally/physically and the rest should fall into place when the time is right. You must just not be ready women can pick up in that.

    She’s probably just with him as like a status symbol. He’s fun knows a lot of people she gets props from her fake friends/what other people think etc. She may try to change him but find out it might not work she will get fed up with that type eventually and then there you are.

  • 6 months ago

    Well, if you really like her, accept the challenge. Be your best self. Be bigger than him, nicer than him, smarter than him, more stable than him, go to a hair stylist and ask your friends how to dress, learn more about music, and about the scene, but by all means be yourself. If she goes for the other guy, then she's going for some short term fun, living a fantasy that's pretty understandable for young person (in fact, I think that's why you're with her, not someone more grounded). If the effort of trying isn't worth it, then end the relationship with her, but do it with civility because that's who you are.

  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    Read "For Couples Only" and learn by leveraging your jealousy; constructive action.

    One of the key parts of a healthy relationship is that the woman respects her man.

    Some girls have a problem where they go for "bad boys" before they "settle down" with a provider; in both behaviors, somewhat selfish and coldly or subconsciously calculating.

  • 6 months ago

    You can forget her and get a real woman.

    Someone who takes you as you are.

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    if shes letting hirn steal her then shes not worth having

    • WishingFor6 months agoReport

      I guess it's not 100% stealing because me and the girl aren't dating. But I've been in love with her for so long and this guy just comes along and she falls for him instead of me.

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