Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsEngagements & Weddings · 1 year ago

My 'best friend" is choosing to go on vacation instead of being a bridesmaid in my wedding. Do I have a right to be angry?

Earlier this week I told her I just got ingaged and asked her to be a bridesmaid. She told me that she was honored for being considered for the important role but would regretably have to turn it down as she and her family were planning a vacation during that week. I guess going to Universal Studios is more important to her than my wedding.

Not to sound rude, but I am literally her only friend and she doesn't seem to care tat I wanted her there on my wedding day. She apologized again and said that she has been planning this trip for an extremely long time and finally got the opportunity to go, and hoped that I would understand.

She also told me that it was not just about the vacation, and that being a bridesnaid would cause too much financial difficulties and time reduction from her job. This seems like bull to me because she has her own business. At the end of the day, all I'm hearing out of her mouth is that going on Harry Potter rides is more important to her than my wedding day. My fiance has tried to calm me down and told me that I am thinking too much into this and he could see how her "priorities" would be affected and that she is still my friend, but she has always put herself first in the past when it came to things like this. She just doesn't seem to give a crap about weddings but I thought mine would be different.

51 Answers

  • Liz
    Lv 7
    1 year ago

    You're not old enough to get married yet. Please give yourself several more years of growing-up time. You sound like a petty 14-year-old.

  • B
    Lv 7
    1 year ago

    no. you have learned one of life's lessons: it is not always about you. Choose someone else. I am thinking the reluctant bridesmaid may change her mind when you pick someone other than her.

  • drip
    Lv 7
    1 year ago

    Get over yourself. It is a disappointment, but no you shouldn’t be angry.

    You ask a person to be in your wedding party. It is not a demand. It is not an obligation. They have the right to say no.

    The vacation was planned before you asked. Being on a trip with her family should be more important. She has every right to be excited about it.her world doesn’t revolve around your wedding, nor should it. You already knew weddings in general weren’t her thing.

    Do you really think anyone you ask to be on your wedding must say yes to you. That they must drop all plans. That they must take time off from their job for you. That they must spend money they don’t fell they can for you?

  • GB
    Lv 5
    1 year ago

    Your fiance should be worried about marrying a woman who thinks the world revolves around her.

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  • Tara
    Lv 7
    1 year ago

    You have the right to be really really hurt -- (which brings on anger, too).

    Go forward with someone else - and be happy about it … you don't want to force someone to be your bridesmaid at this happy time … don't let this put a shadow over your wedding . Drop it - and go forward.

  • 1 year ago

    I think you have a right to feel disappointed, but at the same time you are missing something very important here. She and OTHER people already had plans BEFORE you announced your wedding date. So, this vacation she is taking is not a "priority" over attending your wedding because it was planning in the works with her family.

    To expect all of those people to cancel their plans so your friend could be a bridesmaid is rather self absorbed and incredibly childish of you.

    You can get blood spitting mad, but at the end of the day, she has family plans to go on vacation. And, se is sticking to those plans. Why should she miss out on this great family holiday opportunity? She shouldn't.

    Lv 7
    1 year ago

    Being angry is a personal choice. If you only got engaged this week, perhaps you can change the date since her plans are already made.

  • Kelly
    Lv 7
    1 year ago

    It's fine for you to feel disappointed, but angry is a bit too much.

    While your wedding is the top priority to you (and it should be)... believe it or not it's not for everyone else. Everyone else has a life outside of your wedding.

    Owning your own business doesn't mean you're rich & have unlimited funds or unlimited time.

    She already has a prior commitment regardless of what it is. She's maybe booked and paid for flights, hotels, attraction/amusement park tickets, etc. You're asking/expecting too much for her to cancel that.

    I love to travel myself and my pre-existing travel/vacation plans would trump most weddings I was asked to be a part of or even invited to. I'll send a gift and a card if I'm going to be gone.

    Not everyone is into weddings and she appears to be one of them.

  • 1 year ago

    Yeah she is not being a good friend, but you are also an unbearable egomaniac so she probably made the right call. Imagine being this whiner's bridesmaid when you could be chillin in a theme park!

  • 1 year ago

    Life is too short - find someone who can afford and does want to be your bridesmaid

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