Should I tell my family that their comments about asexuality is inappropriate? How should I tell them?
I'm a 27 year old female and have always known I was asexual even though I didn't necessarily learn the name for it until I grew up. I just knew I never liked men or women and people always thought I was gay or just plain weird. My life was always simple and happy without relationships, and I never felt a need to push for one just for the sake of trying one. I've tried simple "dating" in friend settings just to get them off my back in the past but grew bored with trying to keep the relationship up very quickly. I've also never kissed or had sex with any of the dates. I also don't see those friends anymore who tried to encourage me to date as it happened way too often and I felt uncomfortable.
The things that annoy me about my family are
1. My mother tells me I will change my mind when I find the right "man." Everyone in my family just assumes I'm straight.
2. My father always makes comments about grandchildren whenever we are around small children. I tell him I am getting my tubes tied if he keeps making comments about this.
3. My grandmother asks me if I have a boyfriend every single f'ucking time that I see her. It's gotten to the point that I don't talk to her for months (longest I go without talking to her is half a year or more) but my parents tell me that it's rude if I tell her to stop doing this, so I'm either very short with her in reminding her I don't have one, change the subject completely or just plain don't answer depending on my mood.
Why do people view asexuality as some kind of weird disorder in the first place? Or even worse they see it as a sexuality that is entirely fake? I've never met another asexual person in my life or anyone who understands it so I really don't have many places to go to for advice. I don't know why I let my family frustrate me so much when I see them, but when they ask my why I don't call or visit I feel like telling them everything I listed here, but I will be called "rude" and they will argue.
- Anonymous1 year agoFavorite Answer
Ugh I'm aro/ace and feel your pain. Just be honest with people and if they keep doing just keep being honest. Tell your mom you are asexual and not interested in men. Keep telling your dad you don't want kids. When your grandma asks if you have a boyfriend just say no. Hopefully one day they will get it. And try not to get so upset. Its really not a big deal. They don't mean any harm. They are just ignorant when it comes to asexuality.
I think people view it as a disorder because its different and most people are so into sex and wanting to be in a relationship that they just cannot fathom not wanting that. That plus ignorance.
I don't get how people think its fake either. What else do you call no attraction to anyone? I have literally never looked at anyone and was interested at all. People in my life, celebrities etc. Doesn't matter. Not interested. Could be the richest and best looking person and I would still not be attracted to them.
If you want to talk to other asexual people you can go to AVEN.
They have forums.
- Anonymous1 year ago
I agree with your parents. I can't believe I have to say this to a _27 year old_. Yes it is ******* annoying to be asked that. You still don't stop talking to your grandmother bc she doesn't understand you don't want to date. If this is your idea of discrimination or a hard life... speechless.
- ElisabethLv 51 year ago
Everyone should be asexual.
- 1 year ago
Just be honest with your family. Do you have a boyfriend? No grandma I'm asexual it means this... Sorry dad I don't want kids because... Mom when you say that about me being asexual it make me feel...