Not feeling as attached to your child anymore after a divorce? Idk if it's because I'm now single and doing everything on my own when we..?

My husband and I are going through an awful divorce. We have a 3 yr old son, but now I feel like I'm not as attached to him as I use to be. My husband and I both planned on having a child and he began absuing me after we had been married 2 years and I was pregnant 8 months and he started flipping out his mind. I feel somewhat cheated like we were supposed to be a family and raise him together. Now I'm doing it all on my own and he sees my husband every other weekend. I love my little one so much, but I feel like I have the world on my shoulders and can't enjoy him like I did when I was still married w/ help from my husband. I did suffer from chronic post partum anxiety that started after an argument we had 3 days after we brought our son home that lasted 3 1/2 months, but that ended 3 years ago and I've had a tight connection and bond w/ our son since my PPA ended and had one the whole 1st wk he was born until the ppa started.

6 Answers

  • d j
    Lv 6
    1 year ago

    A child will always love you back truly.

    Invest in your child he's going to be your greatest support. It's just that he's too young. But it will keep getting better.

    Be there for him. Don't detach yourself from him even in your thoughts. He's your own flesh and blood.

    Moreover your child us only going to get the love and support that you as parents can give. He's dependent on you. If you withhold anything from him, he won't get it.

  • 1 year ago

    Completely normal due to the drastic change of lifestyles. Its not a lessened attachment, just a lessened opportunity to connect. Even if you had stayed married you would be going through the same thing when he was school age. These stages in life can be difficult for some parents, but you adjust in very little time, and even get to the point where you can even appreciate the time apart too. But you are also mourning the death of your marriage at the same time so it makes the transition even harder. Hang in there, you will overcome it all in time.

  • 1 year ago

    Yes it may seem difficult just now, and you feel alone, but it will take time to adjust. You need to think to yourself, would I rather be stuck in a controlling abusive relationship, or would I rather be my own person, living my own life without intimidation and fear. In time, you will realise that you are better off alone, and it will also be better for your son, to not have to witness his parent's arguing and shouting. I've been through it myself, and it does seem overwhelming at first, but trust me, a few months down the line, you will feel a sense of freedom. Just keep doing your best for your son, and stop worrying. Everything will turn out right in the end.

  • 1 year ago

    You answered your own question

    You feel responsible for everything, all on your own now,

    everything you had help with before, is all down to you now.

    That takes its toll and time from you.

    You are doing the work of 2 parents now and something had to give. Unfortunately its been productive time with your child.

    You have realised this, which is a huge thing in itself, most parents simple keep on going and never notice.

    A routine will help, your son is 3, there are many things he can do with you, even while you are doing things like chores.

    He can help when you prep dinner, its a chance to bond and make little traditions of your own together.

    Make time to sit and read to him before bed, the dishes can wait until he is asleep.

    You CAN do this, it will just take a wee while to get into a groove

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  • Ana
    Lv 6
    1 year ago

    Why did he get abusive? Did you cheat on him sexually? Did you hit him first?

    You didn’t say WHY he got abusive. (You also didn’t define “abusive”. For all we know, you could be saying him “yelling” is abusive, which is total baloney. Everybody raises their voice sometimes, guys and girls alike. Everybody yells. So what? It’s only violence that’s an issue.)

    When people refuse to take responsibility for their own faults, they begin to destroy their marriage and their lives. You NEED to take responsibility for what YOU do.

    What he did is 100% wrong obviously. But did he just go psycho and hit you for no reason? Or did something about you drastically change?

  • lala
    Lv 7
    1 year ago

    I think you are quite lost with this ugly divorce

    Go in therapy

    your child need your love and attention

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