Arwen asked in Social SciencePsychology · 11 months ago

How to live my life?

I work in other country and I met my boyfriend there but he left me

..I am broken now so much that I can not get back to work ..it has been 3 weeks that I am at my parents house with family because I can not stand of being alone or with people I dont know. ..I tried to get back to work but in next 3 days I was back home because I was constantly crying. I can not bealive the my ex broke up for no reason from telling that he loves me and planing kids together and than next second he just disapeard. I can not move from my hause and he is partying with his friends and family. I just want my life back ...people are calling me for work and I dont have strenght to answer.

4 Answers

Relevance
  • Anonymous
    11 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    3 weeks is very little time to process trauma. For what you tell, the guy could be a narcissist. There's a typical routine some of them do: they start with a stage called "love bombing", which can last several months, in which they make you feel like you're twin souls, you have the same ideas and hobbies, everything is exciting and fantastic, you start making plans...

    Then, like out of nowhere, they move to the devaluation stage -things stop being perfect, they start to criticize you and act weird-, or directly into the discard phase: they just dump you with incredible coldness, showing that they never really cared about you.

    The first thing you have to know is that this is not your fault in any way. Narcissist personality disorder is a mental problem. These persons need to treat people like crap to feel secure themselves. The more they hurt you, the better they feel. By deceiving you and hurting your feelings, they feel they're superior to you, that they have "oneuped" you. It's their sick way of living, and rest assured he will keep doing it to his next victim, it's nothing you did or said.

    (And be warned, by the way, because another thing they do is, after a few months, when you've started to rebuild your life, they will appear again, out of nowhere, trying to resume the havoc. It's called "narcissistic hoovering", and is also typical.)

    Now you are under the effects of trauma and need all the shelter and positive people around you can get (or being left alone, if you're more of the introvert type). And when you feel like it, start to learn about narcissist discard, and narcissists in general, because they are everywhere. I'll leave bellow my favorite resources just in case. I know this stuff so well because I went through this process too, so I can imagine what you're going through. It's a long way but you're going to heal from this and come out better and stronger, even if now it doesn't look like it at all... Take care of yourself and best wishes.

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • 11 months ago

    you are strong! start invest time in youself, do some things you like, for instance go out with your friends and atleast try to have fun. Go and work, dont let somebody that makes you cry lose on your job! He should be the one to lose! If somebody asks you questions about your ex you can just tell them that you are not ready to talk about it yet.

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • 11 months ago

    Hurts hey? Please do one thing

    per day just for you thanks.

    Consider grief counselling should the

    need arise thanks.

    Thanks

    Very Best Wishes

    Mars

    Source:) Study Informal

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • 11 months ago

    Live open a. Free but keep your legs closed

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.