Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 year ago

Worried about my mother and don't know what to do?

I am trained as a high school teacher (not English, may as well be honest ) and was recently offered a job in another province for September. There are virtually no teaching jobs in my home province, with many teachers subbing for a decade or more and still unable to land a job.

The problem. My parents divorced two years ago and my mother has since been in a questionable relationship. I don't know all details, but her current boyfriend has hit her a few times and is supposedly into hard drugs. In short, she hasn't pressed charges or break up with him, and I am very stressed and concerned for her.

I am extremely reluctant to take this job because I would then be in another part of the country and have no way of knowing whether she is safe or what is going on. It breaks my heart to think of anyone abusing my mother and I want to be here for her.

I am only 26 and still young enough to transition smoothly to another career and remain closer to home. As I have said, remaining home would effectively end my teaching career, but it would seem selfish and cruel to leave my mother in such a scenario.

What do you think?

5 Answers

  • Lili
    Lv 7
    1 year ago
    Favorite Answer

    Move, but let her know that you are always available should she need help. In addition, notify friends and any relatives of your concerns. You might also consult a lawyer about putting your concerns on record.

    You cannot put your life on hold for someone who doesn't want to take care of herself; you have to look after yourself and move forward. I know this is scary, but it is what you MUST do. You have a life; you can't abandon it for someone else.

    Good luck.

  • ?
    Lv 7
    1 year ago

    I think you should seek out your mother's friends and neighbors to see if they're concerned. As long as she's not completely alone and has a social support network you shouldn't curtail your career advancement over this. It's not like you can save her from herself if she's hellbent on being with an abusive junkie.

  • Anonymous
    1 year ago

    Take your mom with you, without the BF.

  • 1 year ago

    it's a very difficult situation because everyone loves their parents, so I feel you.

    However, these are two different situations. If you want to change careers bc you might find better career opportunities if you do something else, go for it. I think it's wise to change careers in this scenario.

    Your mom's situation is something else. Your mom is in an abusive relationship and as you might know, people in these relationships don't leave unless they hit rock bottom (pretty much like addicts). The fact that you are close or far away from her might not have an effect on your mom. If she eventually finds the strenght to leave this relationship, she can go to a shelter, go to friends,relatives or if anything go wherever you are.

    I just want to stress something important: your mom is an adult too, and if you have had voiced your concerns about her safety and if she still doesnt do anything about it (like breaking up w that man) there's not much you can do, you are at an age that you need to work on yourself and building assets.

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 year ago

    i would just turn in that guy for drugs before you leave

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