Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 11 months ago

This was months ago but I'm still annoyed by it?

I've been a relationship with my boyfriend for 4 years since 8th grade. We're very different from most people our age and we dislike highschool. He and I can't wait to go to university. Please believe me when I say this is not a typical high school relationship.

Alright so now to the actual point. When my best friend came out, she wanted to go to a pride dance at a different high school. But, had no one to go with. I decided to be her date and dress up as the girl. My boyfriend didn't come because this was her night. He didn't want to take that away from her. However, he got a little jealous because I'm not one to dress up often. Well, he wanted me to dress up more. I said you got to take me out to a dance or somewhere nice.

Months later another there was a semi-formal dance at out highschool. I really wanted to go, because I want the experience. Most of our friends were going and I wanted him to come too. He's just too shy and doesn't like the people which is ironic because most people like him. My friends tried to convince him but he didn't want to. I wasn't going to force him or be mean and go without him. He told me, we'll have our own dance at the park we like. We didn't do that. My friends had a good time and I wish I was there.

I just am a little confused because I know he wants to dance. I know he'll go to prom with me for sure, but in my senior year, I want to go to at least one high school dance with my boyfriend.

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  • 11 months ago
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    I can't dance. I have tried. Done everything. But my feet don't work with the music.

    I never even did the dance at my wedding. Froze up solid.

    Now if my wife had loved dancing this would have been a deal breaker.

    However we can have a wonderful life together without dancing.

    That is merely one small thing.

    Have you talked with him to find out WHY he doesn't want to go to the dance.

    You admit that he is too shy. So he may find the dance particularly uncomfortable.

    Just imagine being at the dance, watching all these beautiful girls dancing with their partners and yet be unable to participate yourself. That could be an extreme torment ( talking from experience here).

    Rather than "being annoyed" look for causes and see if there are solutions or not.

    For example if he is intimidated at a high school dance would he feel more comfortable taking dance lessons with you in a small class situation?

    For me the cause came as a teenager when girls would laugh at my attempts at dancing. Or just turn their back on me if I went to ask them to dance. Ballroom dancing would be easier because you can learn to do it right. So there is no cause for ridicule.

    But I got so fearful of the type of humiliation that I simply freeze up to the music.

    • Bobby11 months agoReport

      This is a really good suggestion as well. It might be that he can't dance and that situation embarasses him cause he can't dance. Before asking him to a dance. Ask him to take ballroom dancing with you, or go to a dance class. EXCERCISE, learn a skill, have a date. 3 birds one stone.

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  • 11 months ago

    Not everyone likes social situations. Even so, if you want to go to a dance, and he doesn't go along, i don't see why you'd have to restrict yourself and stay home?

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  • 11 months ago

    Have you made it abundantly clear how important it is to you to him? As a man, let me tell you one of our many faults is we don't pick up on subtle hints. You have to hit us over the head with blunt force trama when you want us to get something lol That's because men are usually very direct with what we want. When I am hungry, I don't say to my woman or friends, "you know on days like this I've liked getting Wendy's". Lol. No, I say hey stop at the Wendy's and get me an asiago chicken ranch like ASAP!! Women have good intuition. They can read between the lines better than men. Men only read the lines and usually accept or process information at face value. Communication is important. And trust me you aren't doing anything wrong dragging his @$$ to a dance even if he doesn't want to. As long as you don't make a habit of making him do things he doesn't want to. That's part of being in a relationship. My wife makes me do things every once in awhile I don't want to do. Like picture day!!

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