Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsEngagements & Weddings · 7 months ago

I've been invited to 3 upcoming weddings but I don't want to waste vacations. Is it wrong to use them on my own vacation istead?

BAsically these "used" to be my best friends but we have been in and out of each other's lives the past few years, and basically I am old enough to understand now that they sent out wedding invitations to myself as well as my family in order to guilt trip me into going. However, that's not working on me. I do not want to be used for an expensive wedding gift when I can barely afford gifts for myself.

Before you answer "It's fine not to go to your friend's weddings if you don't plan on them coming to yours". I am not getting married nor do I enjoy relationships. I like being single and I plan on keeping that way. When I explained all this to my family that they are just being used as a guilt trip they were shocked that I'd even think this about my "best friend's since high school?"

If that's the case, where were these friends when they stopped getting together with me when their relationships became serious? Where were they when I went back to college for a career change and graduated? Did they even send me a simple happy birthday text this year? No, they did not. So why should I waste my vacation time on their wedding and my hard earned money on a gift from their registry? I'm just so sick of this wedding crap and having people throw it into my face.

Throughout my life I've always been #2 or 3 on people's list, including my own family. So why am I suddenly selfish for suddenly realizing that the only person who is going to place me #1 is myself?

Update:

Why would I be jealous of weddings when I don't want one of my own? That doesn't make sense. I think you just read what you want to read.

17 Answers

Relevance
  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    7 months ago

    You're within your rights to decline the invitation and send a nice card. But because your issues are about your own unhappiness rather than these people you don't need to lecture them on your own misery. Just take a polite pass and be done with it.

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • Trish
    Lv 5
    7 months ago

    I didn't see the original post. You got an invitation to a wedding. Attending the event shouldn't take more than half a day unless it's out of town which I can understand not wanting to take off for three. Good Luck.

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • drip
    Lv 7
    7 months ago

    An invitation is just that no more or less. It is not a guilt trip. It is not an obligation. You can RSVP no.

    You do not attend a wedding because they will or have attended yours. That has nothing to do with going or not.

    I have never seen someone so mad that they are invited to a wedding.

    A gift is always optional, not required, nor are you required to buy an expensive gift

    If you don’t want to attend RSVP no and be done with it. Why all the drama about being invited?

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • Kelly
    Lv 7
    7 months ago

    You seem like a fairly miserable person who looks for the negative in things or problems where there isn't any. Perhaps invest some of that money in therapy.

    1. Weddings invitations are a notice to let you know you're welcome to attend if you choose to. It isn't a summons to appear. In summary, attending is optional.

    2. Gifts are optional to all guests, a wedding while most people choose to give the couple a gift to wish them well isn't actually a gift giving event.

    You're complaining that they invited you to something, but also complaining that they don't.

    When you're in a serious relationship, your priorities change. For most people their spouse outranks their friends. Friendships also change over the years as your life changes, also quite common. Your friends also change over the years. I talk to maybe a handful people I went to school with, most of my friends I met in my 20's or later. Nothing bad between the people I went to school with as much as our lives went in different directions. I'd pick my husband over any of them. Time with him is more important than time with them.

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • 7 months ago

    Wedding invites are 100% optional.

    If you can't go, or choose not to - that's entirely fine. You just RSVP 'no' and move on.

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • Anonymous
    7 months ago

    "BAsically these "used" to be my best friends"

    say no more. don't go to the wedding. easy...

    brides are annoying as hell anyways.

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • Caz
    Lv 6
    7 months ago

    RSVP no.

    Send a card.

    Let it go and get on with your life.

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • Cammie
    Lv 7
    7 months ago

    You seem very angry.There is no reason to be angry.Simple RSVP will not attend and take the high road and send a card.Problem solved.

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • Anonymous
    7 months ago

    "I'm just so sick of this wedding crap and having people throw it into my face."

    Whoa. Jealous much?

    I find it amusing when someone complains that their friends don't invite them to things and also complain when they do.

    Maybe spend your money and vacation time on therapy instead of attending weddings.

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • 7 months ago

    no one goes to weddings anymore.

    you don't have to go.

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.